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Freedom From Being A Slave to External Validation

My car lease expired at the end of last month so I went into the dealership after a good friend found me an amazing deal. Everything was completed ahead of time. I just needed to do the swap. Or so I thought. I forgot about the time in the finance office. When I was reminded of this, I walked into the finance office braced and ready for the reams of papers to sign. I sat down in the black vinyl chair ready for the task.   Then I was taken aback. Rather than a get down to business start. I was greeted...

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We Are The Rewilders

Angus and I recorded this on the last day of an AMAZING Business Accelerator program facilitated by Barb Patterson! It was an incredible experience and a wonderful catalyst for our business. We are the Rewilders, and we are so excited to share what we have learned about following our essential nature and how this helps relationships. The natural state of your relationship is love, and we can help you see that more clearly so you live your best relationship possible!   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by...

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Don’t Trust Your Low Mood Thinking

Angus has a chance to show off about how well the English soccer teams are doing in the European soccer championships, but he does have a good point that they have demonstrated tremendous resilience in the face of adversity.   This is so helpful in relationships. It is easy to get discouraged about our partner and our relationship when we are in a low mood. When we take low mood thinking seriously we create plans to cope with what we see. I used to get into a low mood, feel discouraged about our relationship, and then start planning how to leave Angus...

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Shopping Ninja

What is the weirdest thing your partner has sent you to the store for? Angus is a shopping ninja unless I slow him down with my unusual requests. My disruption of his shopping flow helps him to see he is more sped up than he realized. We all have our blind spots. The areas where it is invisible to us that we are caught up in thought. The good news is we don't have to work on ourselves or try and fix them. Our true nature doesn't have blind spots. So rather than trying to wake up faster, improve ourselves, or try to...

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Do You Try To Be A Bomb Disposal Expert With Your Partner’s Upset?

Angus used to feel like he was trying to defuse a bomb with oven mitts on when I was upset. He didn't realize that his job was not to fix my problems. He thought he couldn't be happy if I wasn't happy. And the more he tried to make me happy the more upset I became. Now Angus and I both know that happiness comes from within. He realizes that no matter how emotional I get, I will eventually stabilize. And I have learned to not trust my low mood thinking. I am skeptical of it so I don't get...

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It’s Only Handbags!

I looked it up, and Angus' definition is accurate. "It's only handbags", is a British term used to describe a pointless and worthless argument, derived from the image of old ladies having a handbag (purse) fight at the bus stop. Angus was not referring to our neighbor's dogs as handbags, but who knows what he thought Angus meant. That is how it goes. We each live in our own separate reality. The best way to avoid confusion and limit conflict is to remember how surprisingly different perspectives can be so we assume less and check things out more. If Angus...

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We Just Can’t Seem to Get it Right!

Angus and I were asked to do a FREE Relationship Webinar on Wednesday, April 24th at 11 am Pacific (US). You would think it would be easy for us to create a video announcing it. Not so much!   Enjoy the outtakes and have a laugh at our expense.   Will share the link when we have it.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen...

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Progress Not Perfection: Riding Out Low Moods More Gracefully In Relationships

Angus and I are at the 3PGC conference this weekend in Manhattan Beach. Before heading in we share about how we have gotten better at navigating each other's low moods. There is no perfection, but a little bit of lightness goes a long way. In a recent incident where Angus got elevated, me not taking it personally helped make it easier on both of us. Remembering we are okay, in the face of our feelings or another person's upset is very reassuring.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and...

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Relationships Aren’t Always as Delicious as a Hot Fudge Sundae

Angus demonstrates his superpower of being able to repeat the content of what was said even though he was thinking about something else. The point I was making is that we often think we need to manage and improve ourselves out of fear of not being good enough, but this pressure to be good and to be better actually brings out the worst in ourselves and other people. The point that emerged as we were speaking is that people often feel like there is something wrong with their relationship if it isn’t always as delicious as a hot fudge sundae,...

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Bah Humbug Feelings Are Normal

It is starting to feel like the holiday season in my home. Our eldest daughter just got home from college. My husband Angus and our youngest daughter found and put up our Christmas tree. The laser lights are sparkling outside. Angus’ birthday is just around the corner. There is a festive air, but the holidays can be difficult for people too. There are often high expectations for joy and connection that don’t get met. I have talked to some people who say they feel lonelier this time of year and others who feel the loss of loved ones more poignantly.   Whatever...

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