It’s Only Handbags!

I looked it up, and Angus' definition is accurate. "It's only handbags", is a British term used to describe a pointless and worthless argument, derived from the image of old ladies having a handbag (purse) fight at the bus stop. Angus was not referring to our neighbor's dogs as handbags, but who knows what he thought Angus meant. That is how it goes. We each live in our own separate reality. The best way to avoid confusion and limit conflict is to remember how surprisingly different perspectives can be so we assume less and check things out more. If Angus,...

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We Just Can’t Seem to Get it Right!

Angus and I were asked to do a FREE Relationship Webinar on Wednesday, April 24th at 11 am Pacific (US). You would think it would be easy for us to create a video announcing it. Not so much!   Enjoy the outtakes and have a laugh at our expense.   Will share the link when we have it.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen...

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Progress Not Perfection: Riding Out Low Moods More Gracefully In Relationships

Angus and I are at the 3PGC conference this weekend in Manhattan Beach. Before heading in we share about how we have gotten better at navigating each other's low moods. There is no perfection, but a little bit of lightness goes a long way. In a recent incident where Angus got elevated, me not taking it personally helped make it easier on both of us. Remembering we are okay, in the face of our feelings or another person's upset is very reassuring.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and...

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Relationships Aren’t Always as Delicious as a Hot Fudge Sundae

Angus demonstrates his superpower of being able to repeat the content of what was said even though he was thinking about something else. The point I was making is that we often think we need to manage and improve ourselves out of fear of not being good enough, but this pressure to be good and to be better actually brings out the worst in ourselves and other people. The point that emerged as we were speaking is that people often feel like there is something wrong with their relationship if it isn’t always as delicious as a hot fudge sundae,...

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Bah Humbug Feelings Are Normal

It is starting to feel like the holiday season in my home. Our eldest daughter just got home from college. My husband Angus and our youngest daughter found and put up our Christmas tree. The laser lights are sparkling outside. Angus’ birthday is just around the corner. There is a festive air, but the holidays can be difficult for people too. There are often high expectations for joy and connection that don’t get met. I have talked to some people who say they feel lonelier this time of year and others who feel the loss of loved ones more poignantly.   Whatever...

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My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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Celebrating Difference and Recognizing Oneness

I love diversity and the richness of different perspectives. I also love looking in the direction of the essence who we all are. It seems to me that whenever I look in that direction life gets simpler and lighter. I have noticed recently different conversations about the right way to look and point in this direction. They have the feeling for me of: "I know better than you. This way is better than that way. You can’t say this. You should do that."   So many rules. And for what? None of us have it right. What is being pointed to cannot...

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Have Fun Being Unapologetically YOU!

Angus didn’t realize he had taken someone’s negative feedback about our Vlog personally until it came time to do it. What I really appreciate about the pre-recording experience was watching Angus go from reactive and caught up in his thinking one moment to seeing his mind shift and getting perspective in another. It is amazing how quickly our minds change, and it is so powerful to see how we all have that same capacity to drop into peace and clarity at any moment.   I can relate to Angus getting caught up in insecure thinking. It happens to me too. It is...

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