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Angus Wants A Gray Hall Pass

What have I got myself into? Now Angus is going to be googling gray hall passes! All I wanted to say is that sexual boredom is not going to be solved by looking for more external stimulus. That is a never-ending quest. The sustainable solution is understanding that boredom, including sexual boredom, is a state of mind. Boredom reflects how sped up the individual's mind is rather than being caused by being in a long-term relationship. I know for myself there was a period of time where it got harder for me to drop out of my busy thinking before...

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Keeping Sexual Attraction Alive in Long-Term Relationships

**warning adult language used**   One of the biggest challenges to relationships is each person’s relationship with their anxiety. Even if you don’t suffer from an anxiety disorder, everyone has the experience of anxiety in their lives. What happens in relationships is that it is easy to blame the other person for your anxiety and/or want your partner to fix your anxiety. The foundation for many relationships is being able to ease each other’s anxiety. You become each other’s security blanket when you aren’t driving each other crazy.   When this happens sexual attraction goes out the window.   People blame all kinds of factors for...

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The Honeymoon Period of a Relationship is Not Time Limited

The honeymoon period of a relationship is not time limited. It is also not an experience of craziness. It is perhaps when you are most sane because you have the experience of dropping out of your anxious thoughts and getting present to the moment and to the feeling of your true nature. You fall into love. Not love with the other person, but the experience of love within yourself. Then at some point, you have an insecure experience again, and it looks like it is the other person’s fault. But how can it be? Your experience is not caused by...

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Dealing with Anxious and Controlling Parents

Rohini and Angus Ross tell their story of being anxious and controlling parents - as a result of their own fears about their daughters and wanting to protect them - and how that didn't work well. They then talk about what really matters and how both parents and kids can find a much better way of relating.   It is such a clear story about how they finally saw their way of trying to control and protect their girls was actually causing the problems to escalate - and how they now see that everyone has the same inbuilt Wisdom - including young...

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We Are The Rewilders

Angus and I recorded this on the last day of an AMAZING Business Accelerator program facilitated by Barb Patterson! It was an incredible experience and a wonderful catalyst for our business. We are the Rewilders, and we are so excited to share what we have learned about following our essential nature and how this helps relationships. The natural state of your relationship is love, and we can help you see that more clearly so you live your best relationship possible!   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by...

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What Color Is Your Relationship?

There are the Five Love Languages outlined in Gary Chapman's book that describes the ways we like to feel loved and appreciated. There could also be the five colors of relationship designated for different relationship states. Blue for distant. Red for conflictual. Yellow for competitive. Black for dead, and white for peaceful. These are of course made up and random. ` What is helpful, however, is not determining the color of your relationship, rather it is understanding that the color of your relationship is a reflection of the color of the two people in it. I am not talking about skin color....

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Don’t Trust Your Low Mood Thinking

Angus has a chance to show off about how well the English soccer teams are doing in the European soccer championships, but he does have a good point that they have demonstrated tremendous resilience in the face of adversity.   This is so helpful in relationships. It is easy to get discouraged about our partner and our relationship when we are in a low mood. When we take low mood thinking seriously we create plans to cope with what we see. I used to get into a low mood, feel discouraged about our relationship, and then start planning how to leave Angus...

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When Stress Goes Up, Relationships Go Down — The Solution Is More Simple Than You Think

Gallup recently released their latest annual update on the world’s emotional state and it shows that Americans' Stress, Worry, and Anger Intensified in 2018. Highlights from the survey indicate that Americans are among the most stressed in the world. Nearly half of Americans are worried a lot, one in five are angry a lot, and younger Americans between the ages of 15 and 49 are among the most stressed, worried and angry.   When people feel stressed one of the main areas that is impacted in their life is their intimate relationships. So many clients come to me puzzled that they act...

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Shopping Ninja

What is the weirdest thing your partner has sent you to the store for? Angus is a shopping ninja unless I slow him down with my unusual requests. My disruption of his shopping flow helps him to see he is more sped up than he realized. We all have our blind spots. The areas where it is invisible to us that we are caught up in thought. The good news is we don't have to work on ourselves or try and fix them. Our true nature doesn't have blind spots. So rather than trying to wake up faster, improve ourselves, or try to...

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The Call of Your Wild

In his book, The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships, Neil Straus says, “They say that when you meet someone and feel like it's love at first sight, run in the other direction. All that's happened is that your dysfunction has meshed with their dysfunction. Your wounded inner child has recognized their wounded inner child, both hoping to be healed by the same fire that burned them.”   This is not the first time I have heard this dating advice. Somehow our natural instincts are perceived as dangerous and letting us down.   What if it is true that we are attracted to...

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