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Try This Experiment If You Are Unhappy In Your Relationship

If you are unhappy in your relationship are you willing to try an experiment?    It is an experiment designed to reduce your suffering not to save your relationship. And whatever happens in terms of the outcome for your relationship, you will have the learning from the experiment. That goes with you even if the relationship ends.   Angus and I do our best to have no attachment to outcomes when working with our clients. We see our responsibility being to educate our clients so they can connect more deeply with their own wellbeing and see more clearly what gets in the way of...

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Look Toward Wellbeing When Your Laundry List of Woes Grabs You

When you get caught up in your laundry list of woes about your partner, see if you can remember that trying to improve your relationship by reviewing the list will only create more suffering. What you are really looking for is an inner experience of being connected with who you are. If you remember this, it helps you to get unglued from all of the complaints that come to mind when you are upset and points you back to your natural state. It helps you to drop out of your head so you can fall back into your heart and...

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Do You Have A Problem With Your Partner’s Low Moods

A big SHOUT OUT to Dr. Amy Johnson who has two free webinars coming up and her Little School of Big Change is launching soon. I've included the links below.   Now for Angus and me, one of the most common themes that comes up when we work with the couples is one or both of them not liking each other's behavior when they are in a low mood and thinking their partner needs to change in order for them to be happy.   Relationships are so much easier when we understand our partner's low mood behavior is not personal, and if we are...

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The Best Relationship Remedy

Relationship advice is usually focused on trying to cultivate more of a feeling of love that comes and goes rather than on waking up to your essence of love that is always there no matter what. It might seem counter-intuitive to focus on something that can only be found and experienced within when it looks like the issues are without involving two people not just oneself, but ultimately any experience of upset we experience comes from within.   It is the ultimate in empowerment, freedom, and liberation to see that what causes our internal experiences arises from our own thoughts and not...

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Teenagers and Getting Intoxicated with Anger

Angus and I have both been brought to our knees recently and humbled by witnessing ourselves become intoxicated with anger. Worst of all it was in our relationship with our teenage daughter!   There have been lessons on both sides. For Angus, he saw his capacity to ride out his intoxication with anger from a neutral space and return to his natural state of love quite quickly. For me, I saw more clearly how my reactivity is only the result of me taking things personally. I embodied the understanding a little more deeply so the next time I was confronted with reactivity,...

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The Illusion Of Needing To Find Balance When Upset

Angus and I have had a couple of opportunities to notice ourselves get out of balance recently. During those times we noticed how easy it is to want to get back into emotional balance as quickly as possible. It can feel like there is a pull to feel better quickly. There are plenty of techniques and strategies designed for that purpose, but they don’t last so it becomes a constant practice to use them and that ultimately leads to more stress and distress.   What we are noticing and experiencing more deeply is the innate capacity to rebalance that comes from within...

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Beyond the Psychology of Relationships

Please watch beyond Angus's moan about the cleanse we are doing. For the record, I did not force him to participate. I feel great and am doing the same thing! There are separate realities for you!   Anyway, this Vlog is to clarify that Angus and I are not sharing about how to improve your relationship by managing your thinking or by changing your state of mind. Our intention is to point to the fullness of who you are that includes both the form of your psychology and the formless essence of your spiritual nature.   It is through looking in the direction of...

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Yes And Is Good For Relationships!

Angus and I had a lot of fun at an improv class. It was a great metaphor for life. I got to see how sometimes it is invisible to me that I am leading with a no rather than an open mind. This is so helpful to recognize because conversations go so much better when I have an open mind that is a reflection of the yes and motto in improv. Relationships and life are more fun that way!   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their...

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Angus’s Insight About Free Will

Angus has gone through another door of perception. He shares how his experience of seeing free will as a product of the conceptual mind has given him a feeling of greater inner freedom. Rather than seeing himself as separate from God/Mind/Consciousness, recognizing that free will is part of the illusion of thought, allowed him to experience more of the oneness. This is not only freeing for him, but it also helps him to have more compassion for me when I get caught up in my conceptual mind. Now, he is more likely to see my psychological innocence when this happens.   It...

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Reactivity In Relationships Is Normal And Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

Reactivity is normal in relationships. It is a healthy part of the learning curve of being together and navigating separate realities. So often couples come to us with shame about the emotional reactivity in their relationship. Angus and I want to eradicate the shame and normalize that it is okay that upset occurs. It is okay to be learning and growing. None of us have it all figured out.   When we are up against our growing edge, we are stepping beyond our comfort zone and into the unknown. It is there that we can see something fresh and new. We can’t...

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