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Beyond the Psychology of Relationships

Please watch beyond Angus's moan about the cleanse we are doing. For the record, I did not force him to participate. I feel great and am doing the same thing! There are separate realities for you!   Anyway, this Vlog is to clarify that Angus and I are not sharing about how to improve your relationship by managing your thinking or by changing your state of mind. Our intention is to point to the fullness of who you are that includes both the form of your psychology and the formless essence of your spiritual nature.   It is through looking in the direction of...

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Yes And Is Good For Relationships!

Angus and I had a lot of fun at an improv class. It was a great metaphor for life. I got to see how sometimes it is invisible to me that I am leading with a no rather than an open mind. This is so helpful to recognize because conversations go so much better when I have an open mind that is a reflection of the yes and motto in improv. Relationships and life are more fun that way!   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their...

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Angus’s Insight About Free Will

Angus has gone through another door of perception. He shares how his experience of seeing free will as a product of the conceptual mind has given him a feeling of greater inner freedom. Rather than seeing himself as separate from God/Mind/Consciousness, recognizing that free will is part of the illusion of thought, allowed him to experience more of the oneness. This is not only freeing for him, but it also helps him to have more compassion for me when I get caught up in my conceptual mind. Now, he is more likely to see my psychological innocence when this happens.   It...

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Reactivity In Relationships Is Normal And Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

Reactivity is normal in relationships. It is a healthy part of the learning curve of being together and navigating separate realities. So often couples come to us with shame about the emotional reactivity in their relationship. Angus and I want to eradicate the shame and normalize that it is okay that upset occurs. It is okay to be learning and growing. None of us have it all figured out.   When we are up against our growing edge, we are stepping beyond our comfort zone and into the unknown. It is there that we can see something fresh and new. We can’t...

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Navigating Your Partner’s Low Mood Gracefully

It is easy to take your partner's low mood and reactivity personally. It can look like, if they were happier, you would be happier. And it can seem kind to try and help them by offering solutions or trying to talk them out of their low mood.   Angus and I have been there and done that. We even still try to do it sometimes. But what we wake up to sooner now is that when we are doing that we have forgotten that our wellbeing and peace of mind comes from within.   Any time it looks like you would feel better if...

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Angus’ Disco Dance & Rewilding Your Relationship

Angus was disappointed because he didn't have time to share his rewilding metaphor regarding rewilding relationships in the breakout session that we did at the 3PUK conference so he shares it here. Most importantly we want you to see for yourselves that you don't need to put any energy into managing or taming yourself or anyone else. It doesn't evoke the feeling of love in a relationship, and there is no need to because there is an infinite intelligence beyond our intellect that is unfolding perfectly. We can simply allow that to express and enjoy the results of the deeper...

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Angus Wants A Gray Hall Pass

What have I got myself into? Now Angus is going to be googling gray hall passes! All I wanted to say is that sexual boredom is not going to be solved by looking for more external stimulus. That is a never-ending quest. The sustainable solution is understanding that boredom, including sexual boredom, is a state of mind. Boredom reflects how sped up the individual's mind is rather than being caused by being in a long-term relationship. I know for myself there was a period of time where it got harder for me to drop out of my busy thinking before...

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Keeping Sexual Attraction Alive in Long-Term Relationships

**warning adult language used**   One of the biggest challenges to relationships is each person’s relationship with their anxiety. Even if you don’t suffer from an anxiety disorder, everyone has the experience of anxiety in their lives. What happens in relationships is that it is easy to blame the other person for your anxiety and/or want your partner to fix your anxiety. The foundation for many relationships is being able to ease each other’s anxiety. You become each other’s security blanket when you aren’t driving each other crazy.   When this happens sexual attraction goes out the window.   People blame all kinds of factors for...

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The Honeymoon Period of a Relationship is Not Time Limited

The honeymoon period of a relationship is not time limited. It is also not an experience of craziness. It is perhaps when you are most sane because you have the experience of dropping out of your anxious thoughts and getting present to the moment and to the feeling of your true nature. You fall into love. Not love with the other person, but the experience of love within yourself. Then at some point, you have an insecure experience again, and it looks like it is the other person’s fault. But how can it be? Your experience is not caused by...

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Progress Not Perfection: Riding Out Low Moods More Gracefully In Relationships

Angus and I are at the 3PGC conference this weekend in Manhattan Beach. Before heading in we share about how we have gotten better at navigating each other's low moods. There is no perfection, but a little bit of lightness goes a long way. In a recent incident where Angus got elevated, me not taking it personally helped make it easier on both of us. Remembering we are okay, in the face of our feelings or another person's upset is very reassuring.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and...

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