The Random Nature of Our Emotional Experience

This Vlog was going to be an inspiring message about how it is possible to stay neutral and philosophical even in the face of challenges, but then Angus had a bit of a wobbler when the dog started wandering around and the more relevant point became how random it is what thoughts we get stirred up by and which ones we don’t. We sailed through some pretty big challenges, for the most part unruffled, but the dog knocking over the light and looking like he was going to eat the orchid got under Angus’ skin.   This just points to how random...

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Did I Choose the Wrong Partner?

This question comes up frequently when we work with couples who are struggling in their relationship and is a question we have both asked ourselves in the past. We really thought that we might have irreconcilable differences.   What we didn’t know is that we were seeing each other through the lens of our low moods. Our discontent was a reflection of our thoughts, not each other or our relationship. We were experiencing our own consciousness and not the other person.   Now if it starts to look like life would be better if I wasn’t married to Angus, I know I’m buying into...

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Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. and Remembering the Dream!

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.   Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day in the United States. It is a holiday that commemorates Dr. King's life and work. He led a movement for racial justice and equality and embraced nonviolent action as a powerful revolutionary force for social change. He employed Gandhi's philosophy of nonviolence as the means to confront racist laws and discrimination in America. His work made a significant contribution to President Lyndon Johnson signing into law the historic Civil Rights...

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Angus’ Wail Song

I think we can all relate to getting irritated with our partner. Sometimes it just blows over. Other times it blows up. Angus shares his experience where he felt irritated toward me but then woke up to how he was thinking of all kinds of negative things about me. In seeing what he was doing, it then made sense to him to not keep going down that rabbit hole because he recognized he would just get more stirred up. By understanding that his disturbance was not caused by me, but was actually being created within himself, he saw not to...

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Embracing the Unknown

Angus lets go and allows himself to stretch into the unknown in "Owl Pose." Even though he is complaining about being manhandled and he sounds like he is reenacting that famous scene from the exorcist, I love that he is feeling inspired to embrace the unknown not just physically, but in life in general. I can certainly relate to creating more work for myself by worrying or trying to figure things out rather than simply being with what is and allowing life to reveal itself to me. Seeing that extra effort is not required leaves room for freshness and ease...

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Happy 2019!

Angus and I tried out Bikram Yoga. Angus felt worse than I did afterward, but I was actually the one that suffered most later in the day. Putting it down to a cleansing crisis. We intend to tap into our resilience and keep going! Sending everyone love and wishing you a very Happy New Year! 💗   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate...

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An Affair and Extramarital Attractions

Angus was not too pleased about me airing our dirty laundry in my blog this week. An affair and extramarital attractions are definitely a tricky topic. But I wanted to share what I have learned in case it helps others. My feelings and resulting behaviors were symptoms of my internal distress and not our relationship. At the time, it genuinely looked to me like Angus was the source of my suffering and so it made sense for me to think I would be happier with someone else. I didn't realize I was looking for the solution where it could never be found....

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My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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Parenting Teens Teaches Me to Walk the Line of Letting Go and Loving Without Attachment

You've got a way to keep me on your side You give me cause for love that I can't hide For you I know I'd even try to turn the tide Because you're mine, I walk the line ~ Johnny Cash, I Walk the Line   I am sitting on the Anacortes Ferry on my way to Sooke, B.C. to visit my mother. It has docked at Friday Harbor. The harbor is full of pleasure boats. There is a stationary seaplane gently floating up and down on the water. It is a tranquil view. I’m cozy in my black Patagonia jacket, normal summer wear for me...

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Low Moods No Longer Bring My Life to a Halt

I don’t know what I have been searching for on the internet lately, but now my Facebook ads are about pee proof underwear and vaginal dryness solutions. I remember reading in a book about big data how parents found out their teenage daughter was pregnant because their Target flyers started showing baby items. It is not a big step from menopause to mortality, and this has been underlined by the death of a college friend after a brave fight against cancer.   Moments of recognition about the finite quality of life can be sobering. It has caused me to reflect on my...

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