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Understanding How The Mind Works, Inner Freedom, and Loving Relationships

Understanding How The Mind Works, Inner Freedom, and Loving Relationships -- what do they all have in common?   Last week’s blog focused on getting comfortable with the ups and downs of the human experience and how that benefits relationships. I scheduled my blog in my newsletter to send on Monday morning, and for the second time, in a not very long period of time, my website went down on a Monday so none of the links in my newsletter worked. This came after a very challenging Father’s Day with one daughter saying she does not feel supported by Angus and me,...

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Being Okay With Your Feelings is the Best Thing You Can Do For Your Relationship

Being okay with your feelings is the best thing you can do for your relationship and all areas of your life.   But how do you do that?   It seems like we innocently live out our beliefs no matter how faulty they might be, and we are at the effect of them emotionally.   How do you get more freedom?   I spent many years of my life searching for that answer first in yoga and meditation practices then in various psychotherapies. I would diligently practice various techniques to try to have less emotional suffering and to experience more inner peace. But it was such hard work....

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Impossible to Possible: Easier Than You Think

Whether it is trying to solve a crossword puzzle or reconnect in your relationship, the solution comes from the same place: a new thought, a fresh realization, a new way of seeing things. What looks impossible from a sped up, stirred up mind, contracted mind is obvious and common sense when you look at it with fresh eyes and a clear, relaxed, open mind.   Understanding the contracting and expanding nature of your mind makes life so much easier. You don’t need to control or manage yourself when you have a glimpse of how the mind works. With understanding, it is easier...

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Following Inclinations and Christmas Tree Disposal

Angus having to dispose of our Christmas tree in a creative way because he missed the green bin helped him to experience the value of taking action on his inclinations even when he thought they weren’t going to go anywhere. I love that our inner promptings guide us in big and small ways. Often times our intellect tries to talk us out of taking action because it can’t make sense of it. But there is a deeper wisdom at play that we don’t have to figure out. It is only through taking action, moving forward, and gaining momentum that we...

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Letting Life Live You: Less Suffering More Possibility

There has been a lot going on recently. Being evacuated and not knowing if the wildfire was going to spread to our neighborhood. The death of a client. Getting sick. Feeling the loss of our dog Bella as at the one year anniversary of her death. But I wasn’t suffering. Even when I was experiencing excruciating pain with a UTI, I noticed I could be with the pain and not suffer.  Previously it would have taken much less for me to be suffering.   There is a quote by Haruki Murakami related to marathon running where he says, “Pain is inevitable, suffering...

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Freedom from Suffering

As soon as I feel the internal pressure to be special or better than, I know I am feeling the opposite -- not special, not good enough. Feelings of unworthiness can be so painful, and there are so many ways to try and escape these feelings. Trying to prove our worthiness by being better than. Numbing out from the pain by using coping mechanisms.   Psychology tells us the problem is an issue that needs to be resolved, but there is no gold to be mined there only an infinite amount of issues that will need fixing. Instead, less suffering is the...

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Spaciousness is Good for the Soul

October was a busy month. Barb Patterson and I enjoyed another very inspiring Engaged Space. The Soul-Centered Series started. There was a visit to our eldest daughter in college for Family Weekend, an amazing Business Summit in Portland, three corporate trainings, and client intensives.   What I am so grateful for is that with all of this going on my stress levels have been low. I have eaten candy this month, but that is because we bought Halloween candy early to be prepared. This was a very bad idea because then we had to buy more candy for Halloween. But other than...

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Peace of Mind and Happiness are the Key to Greater Performance

I was having a conversation with my husband Angus about the idea of creating things outside of ourselves by focusing on them and thinking about them positively. For me, this seems like such a lot of effort and feels like it is looking in the wrong direction from where well-being actually resides. Rather than using my mental energy to focus on creating something outside of myself, I would rather wake up to my true nature and the experience of peace, well-being, joy, and love that is who I am more fully independent of what I have in my life or how...

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Who Knew? Letting Yourself Be Human Brings Out the Best in You!

Seeing stress as not being attached to the outside world has completely changed my relationship with it. When I thought my experience of stress was caused by things outside of me, I accepted it. I took it for granted and assumed that I would need things to change on the outside before I could feel better on the inside. When it looks this way, life is hard. Sometimes things aren’t going to change on the outside. Some things are permanent, like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, not being able to have a biological child.   There...

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