“What Is” Beats a Good Idea Every Time!
I have ideas about God. They are not God. I have ideas about spirituality. They are not spirituality. This is of course common sense, but I didn’t realize how enamored I had become with my ideas about my spiritual nature. I noticed recently I was seeking to live up to my ideas rather than simply experiencing what is. My ideas about spirituality were grandiose and extraordinary; however, I now see that my experience of my spiritual nature is often simple and ordinary. I kept dismissing this effortless wellbeing looking for the fireworks. I have experienced the mind blowing force of my true nature coursing through me like a river and felt the bliss of the dissolution of my individual self, and I thought, “This is spirituality”. I put it in a box, defined it, and looked for the next peak experience.
How crafty my ego is to co-opt these experiences and decide they are something to strive for. Rather than seeing the bells and whistles as window dressing, I thought they were the main event. So much so that I am surprised I haven’t engaged in the sacred ceremony of ayahuasca, but I am squeamish about throwing up so I don’t think that is for me. Loss of control in general is not my thing.
I see more clearly that in my seeking the spiritual high, I missed out on the daily spiritual peace. I had this realization while speaking with one of my mentor’s Elsie Spittle. I said, “It is like I have been having dinner with Jesus every night and dismissing him as Joe Blow, while looking for Jesus out there, somewhere, every day.” I am not a Christian, but this was the metaphor that came to mind. I saw how my desire for more, better, special had infiltrated my spiritual life and created blinders so I missed what is real while chasing after the illusion. I was ignoring some of the ways my spiritual nature speaks to me because they were outside of my idea of it.
This has revealed itself to me lately in the current political climate when I am feeling called to speak out and act from a profound place of love inside of myself. However, the feeling does not match the sanitized idea I had of what spirituality is. It does not fit into my box of transcendental experiences. Instead it feels like the force of the universe compelling me to take action in the world. It reminds me of the urge to bear down I felt during labor. It was like an energy had taken over me, and I was compelled to push. This didn’t not happen during my first labor, but with our second daughter we got to the hospital late. I was rushed into a labor room, and had just put on my robe when I got the urge to bear down. My husband was so shocked he literally rushed and put his hands underneath me because he thought I was going to push our daughter out onto the floor.
I understand the conviction of the liberation theologians and their connecting christian theology with social activism to address social injustice and human rights issues. I am seeing that my rules of being a “good girl” and what spirituality looks like are way too small a box for me to fit into. I have been trying to fit my spirituality into a “good girl” box, and it is not that. It is a love that is real, raw, authentic, and genuine. It will take the form it chooses to take in the moment.
I had no idea that the watered down version I concocted of my true nature was just another ego facade. The power of God in me is not one thing. Love does not look one way. The intelligence behind life will express through me in ways that might surprise me and not fit my preconceived notion of what it should look like.
My true surrender is in letting go and allowing myself to be used independent of what my good ideas look like. Whether that be in the mundane activities of my daily life or in larger actions that emerge. I am embracing the essence of who I am and clearing out my preconceptions of love and God so I can rest more in the ordinary knowing of the oneness of who I am and the oneness of who we all are.
May you too listen to your deepest calling and be surprised by the truth of you expressing into the world. What a beautiful mosaic of expression that will be when we let love, rather than our good ideas, lead.
Rohini Ross is a psychotherapist, a leadership consultant, and an executive coach. Rohini facilitates personalized three-day retreats to help individuals, couples, and professionals connect more fully with their true nature and experience greater levels of wellbeing, resiliency, and success. You can find out more about Rohini’s work on her website, rohiniross.com.
Chip Chipman – The Simplicity of Syd’s Teachings
Spiritual Facts 
Christine Heath & Judy Sedgeman – Spirituality and Resilience
Rohini Ross
Are you self-critical, hard on yourself, and constantly trying to “fix” whatever you think is wrong with you? Perhaps you have tried all kinds of different personal growth techniques and spiritual practices in the hope of solving all your problems. This cycle can be exhausting and never-ending, because there will always be something to improve about yourself, from that mindset. Sydney Banks’ teachings can help you to see how your humanness is normal and not something that needs fixing: as a spiritual person, you don’t need to change or eradicate your humanness! Seeing yourself as normal allows you to love and accept yourself exactly as you are—warts and all. Adopting this perspective naturally brings out the best in you and helps to find peace with your personality. Self-love and self-acceptance is your natural state, and any disconnection from your true nature is only temporary. What a relief!
In our culture, success is often associated with hard work and narrowly defined as material gain. However, authentic success, as shared by Sydney Banks, includes such intangibles as happiness, well-being, love, joy, compassion, and peace of mind that are innate in each one of us, along with outward goals and achievements. It honors the whole person in all walks of life, whether you are a professional, leader, executive, solopreneur, employee, mother, teacher or student. From this knowing and experience, you can access the infinite wellspring of love that is your essence, then share your gifts with the world from a place of fulfillment and meaning, through a profound understanding of the interaction between your psychological and spiritual natures. While conventional success can deplete you, authentic success only fills you up.
Your ability to enjoy life comes from being present in the moment rather than caught up in habitual, negative thoughts that take you out of the Now. Sydney Banks’ wisdom supports you in becoming aware of how you get seduced by your limited personal thinking and thus, create a painful reality of misunderstanding, fear and restriction. When you recognize how and why this happens, you can step free of the pattern. This understanding assists you to dismiss unhelpful thoughts and not take them seriously. Unlike traditional self-help or therapy, experiencing more psychological freedom and enjoyment does not rely on techniques. There are no magic bullets on the path of well-being. All you need to do is follow an internal compass that points to the truth of who you really are—beyond transient thoughts to your unchanging, formless essence.
Greater psychological freedom is the gift that keeps on giving. How grateful would you feel if you no longer had to listen to your negative, self-punishing and painful inner narrative, day in and day out? Understanding the role of thought and recognizing how it creates your feelings of insecurity and self-doubt is truly liberating! You will be better able to hear and heed your inner wisdom and become less driven by the noisy thoughts of fear and constriction. As an ongoing practice, this allows you to more fully experience your resilience and reach a greater sense of clarity about how you want to move forward in your life. As a result, you can live in a way that feels authentic and true in every area, including your career, family, home, creative expression, play, relationships and overall well-being.
When you no longer give authority to the fear-based thoughts in your consciousness, all you are left with is happiness. Through the teachings of Sydney Banks, you can see how your psychological functioning works, which makes you less compelled to follow those thoughts that do not serve you. Becoming more aware of the wholeness and integration of both your human and spiritual natures helps to ground you in the unchanging essence of who you are, and ride out the ups and downs of your emotional experience more gracefully. Accepting the normalcy of your humanness will naturally reduce your anxiety and fear and enhance your joy and happiness in each moment. By placing less pressure on yourself to feel a certain way or be hung up on self-improvement, you may find that low moods do not derail or debilitate you; instead, you will become much more attuned to your innate wellbeing and peace of mind and experience more happiness as a result.
One of the first areas people often experience profound transformation from the teachings of Sydney Banks is in their relationships, both personal and professional. While it often seems like another person’s irritation, anger, indifference, insensitivity, rudeness, etc., directly affects your experience, in reality your disturbance is a product of your own individual thinking. By making someone else responsible for how you feel, that person automatically becomes the cause of your suffering. Once you understand that you always have a place of well-being inside, independent of another’s behavior, it is easier to maintain equanimity through their changing moods and behaviors. Romantically, you may experience deeper love and intimacy with your partner, but the teachings benefit all relationships. This awareness supports more authentic connection and expression, while facilitating greater understanding, improved communication, reduced reactivity, more acceptance of self and others, and improved ability to work out differences and find common ground. Best of all, just one person shifting in a relationship is enough to transform it.
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Barbara Patterson
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Paul Murk
06.02.2017 at 01:22This, Rohini. How rich things are getting as simplicity and stillness and inclusion and love take dominion. Appreciating your message.
Rohini
06.02.2017 at 19:15Thanks so much for your comment Paul! So glad you are enjoying my posts!
Dan Tollman
06.02.2017 at 05:59Thank you Rohini, what a wonderful inclusive message I love the concept of seeing the divine in the ordinary, and not just blissing out on peak experiences. Thik Nhat Hahn also has some writings on how to reconcile the pursuit of peace and harmony with the need for social activism.
Rohini
06.02.2017 at 19:16Thank you Dan for your comment and for recommending Thich Nhat Hanh’s writing. 🙂