I just got back from facilitating a corporate training. Even though I am physically tired, my spirits are high. It is such a gift to be able to witness people seeing something new for themselves and experiencing more peace and internal freedom as a result. I know I am not responsible for this, but it is nice to be available to allow the understanding to come through me in service to this.
When preparing for the training, I reflected on what the essential key points I wanted to share were. I only had four hours so I wanted to keep it as clear and simple as possible. The first thing that was important for me to share is that we live in an experience of reality that is created from the inside-out. What this means is that our feeling state is not caused by outside circumstances or events. Rather there is a 1:1 relationship between our thoughts and feelings.
This can be hard for people to embrace because it looks like things outside of us cause how we feel. People will often challenge me by using examples of very difficult circumstances such as the death of a child, or rape, to point out that circumstances do cause our suffering. This, however, is not how experience works. We cannot have any feeling without it stemming from a thought. Emotions are our thoughts brought to life physiologically. Just because people have similar thoughts when certain things happen in their lives is not proof that we don’t feel our thinking. And we don’t always think the same way. How is it possible for Byron Katie to be held up at gunpoint and feel compassion and love for the person holding the gun, not fear? How is it possible that someone else describes no experience of violation and trauma after a violent rape? How was Victor Frankl able to feel compassion and love, not just for his fellow inmates in the concentration camp, but for the guards as well.
These are rare examples, but they illustrate how our experience is not determined by our circumstance. We feel our thoughts in the moment. And that is the good news. I don’t want to fight for a position that suffering is done to me or that I am a victim even if I am in a horrific situation. I want to own the possibility of experiencing freedom and peace no matter what experience life presents me because that is who I am. That is the true identity of all of us and can never be taken away from us. The only thing that can obscure it is our personal thinking, beyond that is a state of flow or no thought that is pure love and understanding. We don’t need to work at achieving the truth. It is the essence of who we are. All we do is wake up to what is already there. And we each do this every day without necessarily noticing it. We drop out of our personal thinking and into the moment. It happens to all of us. It is as ordinary as mud. Your true self is right there.
Having our experience created from the inside-out also means that the reality we see changes as our thinking changes. A quote from Sydney Banks states, “Your thoughts are like the artist’s brush. They create a personal picture of the reality you live in.” What this means is that we don’t see an objective reality. We are not like a camera perceiving what is real. Instead, our thoughts create a reality that is what we perceive. That is why life looks different depending on what mood we are in. Partners look more attractive when we are in a good mood. Problems look easier to solve from a clear state of mind. And moods naturally shift.
There is an innate intelligence inside of each one of us that is our wisdom and well-being. It is our unchanging true nature that is always there. We don’t always experience it in its fullness, but that does not mean it is not there. The only thing that can obscure it is our personal thinking. It is not anything outside of ourselves that takes us away from the experience of inner peace. It is our personal thinking that can get in the way of us experiencing it. But we don’t need to worry when that happens because we are designed to move toward peace and equilibrium. Well-being is our natural state. It may not be our normal state, but it is our natural state.
We are designed to move in the direction of well-being. Our natural state is to have a free and relaxed mind and to experience our true nature. Seeing this helps us learn how to ride out our low moods more gracefully. When you see that your mood is low, it is much easier to not engage with your thinking and to be kind to yourself as you let your thinking settle. You can take the quality of your state of mind into account when making important decisions, having conversations, and trying to figure out problems.
You don’t need to fix your moods. They take care of themselves. Instead, you can take your mood into account so you can have a better perspective on how seriously to take the reality you are seeing. If I am furious with my husband, I understand that I am seeing him through my thought created reality. I don’t see his good qualities. I only see his flaws. If I take myself seriously, I am likely to share what I am thinking with him and probably be very unkind in the process. If instead, I recognize my state of mind is disturbed, and understand what I am seeing is only a temporary reality, I am much more likely to wait until my thinking becomes settled, and I am in a better feeling before having a conversation.
This understanding helps us to suffer less and effortlessly brings out the best in us. This is applicable in any environment whether it be a corporate environment or personal life. Having an understanding of how our experience is created and the innate wisdom that is the source of who we are makes navigating our human experience so much easier. The focus no longer needs to be on self-improvement and putting effort into fixing ourselves. Instead, the direction to look in is waking up to who we really are and the infinite source of wisdom that is our true nature. From this understanding, we live life in a gentler and kinder way, both for ourselves and for others, and as businesses are seeing, productivity goes up, not down. Performance improves rather than decreases. There is no downside to seeing the truth of who you are. And that is what we are all waking up to in our own way.
Rohini Ross is excited to present The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality, and the Teachings of Sydney Banks with the original students of Sydney Banks in Santa Monica, CA. She is passionate about helping people wake up to their true nature. She is a transformative coach and trainer, and author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1). She has an international coaching practice helping individuals, couples, and professionals embrace all of who they are so they can experience greater levels of well-being, resiliency, and success. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, watch her Vlogs with her husband, Angus Ross, and subscribe to her weekly blog on her website, www.rohiniross.com.