Rohini’s Nocturnal Foibles

I have a reputation of being able to sleep through anything other than the slightest of electronic sounds. Angus makes a good point in the Vlog that the difference is that I have more thinking about electronic noises and judgments about him not turning off his phone than I do about other sounds and that is why I don’t sleep through them. Just another example of how thought creates our experience. So useful to be able to see the role thought plays in life. In a very practical way, I might just get less bothered when Angus forgets to turn...

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The Soul-Centered Series Webinar with Dicken Bettinger

In this webinar, Dicken shares how the teachings of Sydney Banks shifted his work as a psychologist and his own views on personal development. Sydney Banks was the first person Dicken heard say that everyone has innate wellbeing inside of them but for their thinking.   If you would like to learn more about the six-month program The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality, and the Teachings of Sydney Banks click here.  ...

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Teenage Shenanigans

Parenting can be challenging at times, and parenting teenagers takes it to a whole other level. Angus and I recognize that we can both take our daughters’ behavior personally at times. When we do, we aren’t present to what is going on with them. We are caught up in our own stories, making it about us, and that does not help our parenting. It is easy to forget that we live in separate realities and judge their behavior as not making sense. What were you thinking is a statement that often comes to mind, but from a place of judgment...

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Angus and the Illusion of Listening

Listening is something that is so natural and simple, yet many people, Angus and I included, don’t do it all the time. We think we are listening or we give the impression that we are listening, but we are not fully present. Our mind is elsewhere. When this happens we miss out on connection and intimacy with another, but ultimately what we miss is the connection with ourselves. We feel our personal thoughts more than the oneness of who we all are.   Angus and I are not sharing this as a technique. There is no technique for listening. You are either...

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Rohini is Just So Forward

In this week’s Vlog, you get to see how Rohini's ability to take on the journey of life and course correct like a nimble sloop has shown a lot more virtue than Angus’ steady as you go freight ship! Rohini’s will to get out on the open sea as quickly as possible proves to be a lot more fruitful than Angus’ need to stay in the harbor worrying about the Leviathan.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and...

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Lost Car Key Frenzy

Angus had an adventure with lost car keys. His fear of disappointing others got in the way of his clarity and he lost his bearings. He knew he was back on solid ground when he was able to find humor in the situation. Angus was able to see how he had been revving his thinking up not realizing he had lost his bearings. Knowing when we are in a storm of thinking is helpful because we recognize it will pass. It is also more obvious to be more gentle with ourselves as we ride out the distress and easier to...

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Changing Habitual Thought Patterns

We all have habitual thought patterns. Neuroscience has coined Canadian neuropsychologist's phrase, “neurons that fire together wire together.” This is very useful for automated activities that we don’t want to have to relearn from scratch every time, but it becomes problematic when we develop negative neural pathways that become automatic like Angus constantly reinforcing his statement that he is tired rather than just getting on with his day. The good news is that science is revealing the resilience of the brain in its neuroplasticity. The brain is far more adaptive and flexible than previously thought.   When looking beyond our habituated thoughts...

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Bossiness is in the Eye of the Beholder

This is not an example of Angus at his best with listening. He normally does a better job of disguising his inattentiveness, but it is a good example of how we each live in our own separate reality. I can think I am being helpful and Angus can think I am bossy. What is even more amazing is I can be doing the same thing and from one state of mind, Angus can see me as helpful and from another state of mind he can see me as bossy. I can also be completely blind to my bossiness and see...

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He Said, She Said: Separate Realities and Germs

Angus and I live in separate realities when it comes to dirt and germs. He has a lot more thinking about them than I do. His coping mechanism for dealing with all that thought is hand sanitizer and hand washing. We aren’t going to see things the same way any time soon, but we have found a lighthearted way to be with each other about it. We can accept that reality looks different for us in this area and then find ways to navigate the differences that work for both of us.   I have to let go of my judgment that...

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He Said, She Said: More on Angus’ Absentmindedness

This time Angus keeps his pants on but loses a baby. In order for our relationship to work, I needed to learn that my wellbeing was not dependent on Angus having a good memory or being focused. It looked like it was for many years, but finally, I got to see more clearly that my upset was not coming from his behavior. This helped me to get over my frustration and incredulity so much more quickly and accept Angus as he is, absentmindedness included. It was better for us and better for me! Do you have something in your life...

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