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The Sneakiness of Busyness and Self-Importance

I’m back in LA enjoying a cozy rainy day after participating in Barb Patterson’s Business Accelerator program. The experience was a great example of what is possible when one is willing to step into the unknown and see what emerges from a clean slate. To say I was surprised by what came forward is an understatement.   I went in knowing something felt off regarding my work, but I had no idea what. As Angus and I explored our ideas related to helping couples rewild their relationships everything felt fresh and alive. We are committed to moving forward with the book....

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When Stress Goes Up, Relationships Go Down — The Solution Is More Simple Than You Think

Gallup recently released their latest annual update on the world’s emotional state and it shows that Americans' Stress, Worry, and Anger Intensified in 2018. Highlights from the survey indicate that Americans are among the most stressed in the world. Nearly half of Americans are worried a lot, one in five are angry a lot, and younger Americans between the ages of 15 and 49 are among the most stressed, worried and angry.   When people feel stressed one of the main areas that is impacted in their life is their intimate relationships. So many clients come to me puzzled that they act...

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Feeling the Low Mood Blues

I used to think the understanding of the Principles was supposed to stop me from being in a low mood. I thought that if I could just get enough understanding low moods would never strike again. And when I experienced a low mood, I thought this meant I didn’t know enough, and I felt pressure to see more so that I could end my suffering.   It didn’t occur to me that wanting to see more actually causes suffering.   Now I am feeling low. Life feels hard. My usual zest is not there. There isn’t anything difficult going on. There is no...

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Hands Free Parenting

I'm on my way back home from the Pransky Professional training. Grateful not to be snowed in at Seatac, and even though I have a sore throat and a headache I am feeling lighter and freer as I leave. My heart feels wide open.   I love the impact of listening to people share their personal experience of truth as a way of pointing to the Truth that is universal and can't be named. Even though the impersonal and personal can never meet, pointing to the singular in this way has a feeling that goes along with it. It is not conceptual...

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Ready To Let Go Of The Struggle Of Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions?

The New Year arrives and creates a natural opening to get reflective and many people use this time to think about upleveling their lives and improving themselves. As part of this process, many make New Year’s resolutions. This has been going on for thousands of years since the Babylonians made promises to their gods at their New Year to pay debts and return borrowed items in order to earn good favor.   There is nothing wrong with having goals and looking toward growth and change, but according to various studies, 80 to 92% of New Year's resolutions fail. This is common...

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Bah Humbug Feelings Are Normal

It is starting to feel like the holiday season in my home. Our eldest daughter just got home from college. My husband Angus and our youngest daughter found and put up our Christmas tree. The laser lights are sparkling outside. Angus’ birthday is just around the corner. There is a festive air, but the holidays can be difficult for people too. There are often high expectations for joy and connection that don’t get met. I have talked to some people who say they feel lonelier this time of year and others who feel the loss of loved ones more poignantly.   Whatever...

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My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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Letting Life Live You: Less Suffering More Possibility

There has been a lot going on recently. Being evacuated and not knowing if the wildfire was going to spread to our neighborhood. The death of a client. Getting sick. Feeling the loss of our dog Bella as at the one year anniversary of her death. But I wasn’t suffering. Even when I was experiencing excruciating pain with a UTI, I noticed I could be with the pain and not suffer.  Previously it would have taken much less for me to be suffering.   There is a quote by Haruki Murakami related to marathon running where he says, “Pain is inevitable, suffering...

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Freedom from Suffering

As soon as I feel the internal pressure to be special or better than, I know I am feeling the opposite -- not special, not good enough. Feelings of unworthiness can be so painful, and there are so many ways to try and escape these feelings. Trying to prove our worthiness by being better than. Numbing out from the pain by using coping mechanisms.   Psychology tells us the problem is an issue that needs to be resolved, but there is no gold to be mined there only an infinite amount of issues that will need fixing. Instead, less suffering is the...

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Spaciousness is Good for the Soul

October was a busy month. Barb Patterson and I enjoyed another very inspiring Engaged Space. The Soul-Centered Series started. There was a visit to our eldest daughter in college for Family Weekend, an amazing Business Summit in Portland, three corporate trainings, and client intensives.   What I am so grateful for is that with all of this going on my stress levels have been low. I have eaten candy this month, but that is because we bought Halloween candy early to be prepared. This was a very bad idea because then we had to buy more candy for Halloween. But other than...

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