Who Knew? Letting Yourself Be Human Brings Out the Best in You!

Seeing stress as not being attached to the outside world has completely changed my relationship with it. When I thought my experience of stress was caused by things outside of me, I accepted it. I took it for granted and assumed that I would need things to change on the outside before I could feel better on the inside. When it looks this way, life is hard. Sometimes things aren’t going to change on the outside. Some things are permanent, like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, not being able to have a biological child.   There...

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There Is Relief From Insecurity Simply From Understanding How the Mind Works

I was recently given feedback in a Mastermind group that I am part of that for someone with so much insecure thinking I sure get a lot done. I don’t know if you ever feel this way, but I feel at times like I am different than other people. I think I am more screwed up, that I am less than, that there is something wrong with me. This definitely happens less than it used to, but it still happens. What is different now is that I am much better than I used to be at ignoring these thoughts and...

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What About Grief?

After writing a blog on the transitory nature of thoughts and feelings and explaining how our feelings come from our thoughts, someone asked me, “What about grief?” From their question, it sounded to me like grief looked like something different than an internally generated experience. They were putting grief into a category of its own and seeing it as more than thought generated -- meaning it looked like their feelings were caused by something outside of themselves, something other than thought.   We all have areas of our lives that look like they fall into a different category than an inside-out generated...

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Eat Your Fruits and Vegetables (or not)! Let Your Wisdom Guide the Way

I just finished a 6-day juice fast and 2 (nearly 3) day water fast. I have never done an extended fast before. I wanted to try it out to see if it helped my skin. I am in no way promoting or recommending fasting for others. Like all of my posts, this is my personal experience. I am simply sharing what I am seeing. This is not to be interpreted as a prescription for healing or a sharing of “Truth.” It is me looking in the direction of my own wisdom hoping it will point you to look in the...

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White Bumps Are Neutral: I Can Live in Heaven or create Hell

I do not consider myself a vain person. I tend not to fuss too much about my clothes or wear a lot of makeup. On the day that Angus and I first met, my hairdresser asked me to come in the back door and go up the back stairs so I wouldn’t be seen before he had time to do a makeover on me. I was a student at the time and got free haircuts if I agreed to model for him. Angus was the photographer flown in to do the shoot. My hairdresser was concerned I wouldn't get picked...

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Your Soul Sings the Song of Pleasure. Are You Ready to Dance?

I am doing an intensive with a client this weekend. The emerging theme is following the pleasure of the formless. It is hard to imagine that following pleasure is not normal, but  I understand this first hand. I used to automatically push myself. I wanted to compete. I thought being the best would prove my worth. Even when exposed to spiritual teachings I took the same approach. I was trying to get somewhere.   I would deprive myself of pleasure by forcing myself to get up at 4:30 am, taking cold showers, restricting my eating, pushing through the pain of sitting...

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Awakening from Perfectionism to the Raw, Juicy, Messy, Freedom of Magnificent You!

I am starting to write a book about waking up from perfectionism. The idea began as a memoir, but after speaking with my writing coach, who is also a publisher, it made more sense to write it in the format of a "self-help" book. This means I am doing all kinds of research on perfectionism and the various psychological approaches to address it.   Perfectionism is a cluster of behaviors that are a coping mechanism for navigating feelings of anxiety and insecurity. It can result in very serious psychological suffering such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse and suicidality. However,...

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The Big 5-0!

This weekend, thanks to my amazing husband Angus, I got to celebrate my 50th birthday! My actual birthday was in November, but based on the busyness of life, we had the party this Saturday! This, however, worked out perfectly because on my actual birthday our beloved dog Bella was seriously ill and had to be put down the next day. I am so grateful that I got to celebrate with people I love when that experience was not so raw.   I was so moved to be with everyone. It is not always easy for me to take in that amount of...

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Would You Rather Be Happy or Would You Rather Be Free?

You have probably heard the expression, "Would your rather be right or would you rather be happy?" It is a helpful reminder that holding on rigidly to a position creates suffering. However, during this weekend while teaching a workshop, with Dicken Bettinger and Barb Patterson, a different version occurred to me. It was, "Would you rather be happy, or would you rather free?"   For most of my life I focused on happiness and how to get more of it. This created pressure inside of me to not feel certain emotions. I didn't realize my attachment and desire to feeling happy was...

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Why I’m Not Making Any New Year’s Resolutions

This is the time of year when resolutions abound! It is traditional to make a fresh start on the first of January and be open to new beginnings. Out with the old and in with the new! The New Year inspires people to take action on being the best version of themselves.   What is your vision for yourself this year?   Mine includes having a house with closets and a garage that would make Marie Kondo proud. Enjoying pretty hands, fitting in to my Giorgio Armani suit that I bought after having two kids, but somehow, even though I am only two...

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