Have Fun Being Unapologetically YOU!

Angus didn’t realize he had taken someone’s negative feedback about our Vlog personally until it came time to do it. What I really appreciate about the pre-recording experience was watching Angus go from reactive and caught up in his thinking one moment to seeing his mind shift and getting perspective in another. It is amazing how quickly our minds change, and it is so powerful to see how we all have that same capacity to drop into peace and clarity at any moment.   I can relate to Angus getting caught up in insecure thinking. It happens to me too. It is...

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White Bumps Are Neutral: I Can Live in Heaven or create Hell

I do not consider myself a vain person. I tend not to fuss too much about my clothes or wear a lot of makeup. On the day that Angus and I first met, my hairdresser asked me to come in the back door and go up the back stairs so I wouldn’t be seen before he had time to do a makeover on me. I was a student at the time and got free haircuts if I agreed to model for him. Angus was the photographer flown in to do the shoot. My hairdresser was concerned I wouldn't get picked...

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Your Soul Sings the Song of Pleasure. Are You Ready to Dance?

I am doing an intensive with a client this weekend. The emerging theme is following the pleasure of the formless. It is hard to imagine that following pleasure is not normal, but  I understand this first hand. I used to automatically push myself. I wanted to compete. I thought being the best would prove my worth. Even when exposed to spiritual teachings I took the same approach. I was trying to get somewhere.   I would deprive myself of pleasure by forcing myself to get up at 4:30 am, taking cold showers, restricting my eating, pushing through the pain of sitting...

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Hold Infinity In The Palm of Your Hand and Do The Dishes

I am writing this the day before Mother’s Day. I have just finished giving my husband Angus specific instructions regarding what I would like the day to be like tomorrow. There have been too many Mother’s Days with tears. According to Angus because I am not his mother there isn’t any responsibility on his part to do anything. I see it differently. I am not one to miss an opportunity to be celebrated.   Even with these instructions, I am experiencing FOMO. There is the largest Three Principles Conference in the world starting in London tomorrow, and I decided not to go....

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Do You Ever Feel Worthless and Insecure and Want to Feel Better?

Are you struggling with feelings of insecurity? Does it look like these feelings get in the way of your success and being able to relax and enjoy your life?   I can absolutely relate. I used to be driven by my feelings of insecurity. I tried to outrun them by working hard. I pushed. I strived. I forced myself. I punished myself. I felt not good enough, and I believed I needed to work my way out of my low self-esteem. Self-improvement was my focus.   That was my coping mechanism. I got lots of positive acknowledgments from this on the outside. I...

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Being an Imperfect Mother is Good for Your Kids

I heard one of my teacher's at the University of Santa Monica, Ron Hulnick Ph.D. say that you cannot damage your kids. This flies in the face of traditional psychology that believes a healthy attachment to the primary caregiver is what results in well-adjusted and happy children. However, from a spiritual perspective, if we all have innate well-being and mental health within us, if our essence is whole and cannot be damaged, then our environment and circumstances would not be able to damage us.   Knowing this does not make me not want to show us as the best parent I can be,...

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Don’t Be Afraid of Your Coping Mechanisms: They Are Your Best Wisdom in the Moment

I like the feeling of being on top of things. This is a comfortable place for my ego to hang out. I can get smug about this and feel very pleased with myself. Look at me! Look at how together I am! There are also times of growth that I really enjoy. When I am stepping into the unknown and don't have anything figured out. This experience is fun and exhilarating. I enjoy both the comfort of the known and the excitement of the unknown.   What I have more trouble enjoying and appreciating is the mess. I don't like feeling I am...

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Awakening from Perfectionism to the Raw, Juicy, Messy, Freedom of Magnificent You!

I am starting to write a book about waking up from perfectionism. The idea began as a memoir, but after speaking with my writing coach, who is also a publisher, it made more sense to write it in the format of a "self-help" book. This means I am doing all kinds of research on perfectionism and the various psychological approaches to address it.   Perfectionism is a cluster of behaviors that are a coping mechanism for navigating feelings of anxiety and insecurity. It can result in very serious psychological suffering such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse and suicidality. However,...

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The Big 5-0!

This weekend, thanks to my amazing husband Angus, I got to celebrate my 50th birthday! My actual birthday was in November, but based on the busyness of life, we had the party this Saturday! This, however, worked out perfectly because on my actual birthday our beloved dog Bella was seriously ill and had to be put down the next day. I am so grateful that I got to celebrate with people I love when that experience was not so raw.   I was so moved to be with everyone. It is not always easy for me to take in that amount of...

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Would You Rather Be Happy or Would You Rather Be Free?

You have probably heard the expression, "Would your rather be right or would you rather be happy?" It is a helpful reminder that holding on rigidly to a position creates suffering. However, during this weekend while teaching a workshop, with Dicken Bettinger and Barb Patterson, a different version occurred to me. It was, "Would you rather be happy, or would you rather free?"   For most of my life I focused on happiness and how to get more of it. This created pressure inside of me to not feel certain emotions. I didn't realize my attachment and desire to feeling happy was...

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