relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 9

Releasing Contempt — It Is More Dangerous For Relationships Than Conflict

When people talk about relationship challenges people usually think about emotional volatility. High conflict couples let the fur fly as they navigate their differences. As challenging as these kinds of interactions are, this kind of conflict is not a negative predictor for relationship longevity. According to John Gottman and his research on marital stability, contempt is far more damaging to relationships than volatility.   Couples who have high levels of contempt in their relationship may not have high conflict. Often these are couples who say they don’t fight. Their relationships are often characterized by distance. There is frequently functional stability that allows the...

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Psychological Innocence

Everyone is doing the best they can at all times, and our best does fluctuate. Seeing this is what allows us to see our own and everyone else's psychological innocence. There is freedom in that. Judgment and blame naturally fall away and we drop into our natural state of love. Angus and I can find ourselves caught up in blame and judgment at times, but it is helpful to know that the freedom from suffering has nothing to do who or what we are blaming and everything to do with us forgetting who we are and that our wellbeing resides within. Whenever we...

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Expectations Are Harmful To Relationships

Relationships are hard when we look to them to get our needs met. It is inevitable that our partner is not going to meet our needs in some areas some of the time and in other areas consistently. And it seems that couples pick the perfect partner for not meeting their needs, or perhaps, we react in such a way that it is inevitable that our partner will eventually respond in a way that doesn't meet our needs.   Rather than relationship work being focused on understanding each other's needs and increasing expectations that our partner will meet our needs, what about...

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What Is The One Thing That Always Makes A Difference In Relationships?

In relationships, struggles often happen when we blame our partner for our upset. It can look like we need our partner to be different in order to be happy. The more we look in that direction, the more real that appears. And the more real it looks, the harder it is to enjoy our partner exactly as they are. But there is another direction to look in. The direction of wellbeing, the true self, your natural state. No matter what is going on in your relationship, looking in that direction is going to be of benefit. It naturally allows the personal mind...

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Dare2BU…TV With Guest Rohini Ross

Interview with Bec Sheffield and Rohini Ross exploring the impact of the understanding of the Principles on Relationships. Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1), and they are...

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The Myth of Happily Ever After

Angus and I are developing a free Rewilding Love challenge that will launch next year. As I reflect on what it is that allows love to be rekindled and to flourish in a relationship, I see more and more it is not about the other person. For me, it has been through having a deeper awakening to my impersonal loving nature that has allowed my marriage to thrive. This is something we can lose sight of as we become more and more focused on the personal nature of the relationship and our partner.   The myth of happily ever after links love...

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What Do Wall-Sits and Relationships Have in Common?

They can both be really uncomfortable.    I started doing the 7-minute workout recently and was sharing how much my legs shook when doing the wall-sit exercise. I was then told that being able to do the wall sit is linked to success in long-term relationships. I did look up this statistic, but could not find any corroborating evidence. However, the logic makes sense to me. The correlation is, if you can do the wall-sit, you don’t take discomfort seriously and are able to look beyond the experience and keep going.   This would indicate that long-term relationships have high levels of discomfort at...

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Stress and Relationships

Angus and I were both really looking forward to the Soul-Centered Series starting, and we have both had more on our minds than usual as we prepared for it. In the past, this would have resulted in us having a blowout! Fortunately, this didn't happen this time.   This difference is we each found our own way to be more comfortable with our human experience of nerves and anxiety. This was topped off by me waking up to the smell of smoke at 5:30 this morning, but once I ascertained there was no immediate danger or requirement to prepare for evacuation I...

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Dealing With Children’s Low Moods

If you have difficulty with your child’s low moods, it can be really helpful to recognize that the difficulty you experience is a reflection of your own state of mind. Seeing this helps you to remember to take care of yourself. It also helps wake you up to what direction you are looking in. Are you looking in the direction of your true nature or are you looking in the direction of your ego’s stories and judgments?   One direction leads you to more suffering through the experience of separation, and one leads you back home to wellbeing. It is also much...

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Try This Experiment If You Are Unhappy In Your Relationship

If you are unhappy in your relationship are you willing to try an experiment?    It is an experiment designed to reduce your suffering not to save your relationship. And whatever happens in terms of the outcome for your relationship, you will have the learning from the experiment. That goes with you even if the relationship ends.   Angus and I do our best to have no attachment to outcomes when working with our clients. We see our responsibility being to educate our clients so they can connect more deeply with their own wellbeing and see more clearly what gets in the way of...

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