relationships | Rohini Ross - Part 3

Healthy Relationships and Conflict

We used to think that conflict was bad and that it meant there was something wrong with our relationship. This put pressure on us to try and improve ourselves and improve our relationship. All this did was make us more tense and it had us focus on what was wrong rather than appreciate and be grateful for what we did have. Now we see that it is okay if our relationship has conflict from time to time. It is not the end of the world. It doesn't mean anything about us or our relationship. What is more important is that...

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Insecurity and Relationship Conflict

Angus and I noticed a pattern earlier in our relationship where when one of us was nervous we were more likely to get into conflict. This week we passed an invisible test when that didn't happen even though I had been feeling nervous. What was different was I was better able to tolerate my feelings of insecurity and be comfortable in the discomfort. In the past, as a way to try and avoid the experience of insecurity, one of us would turn to blame and make the other person responsible for our feelings in a misguided attempt to try and...

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How to Navigate Conflict in Relationships

It is easy to get discouraged in the face of conflict. Couples often believe that conflict means they are incompatible. However, the issues that are the content of the conflict are often easily resolved when each person is in an open-hearted and relaxed frame of mind. The challenge with conflict then is not usually the issue. It is with how attached we can become to defending our position and how unwilling we can be to really seek to understand our partner.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord...

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Anxiety and Conflict

Angus was very attached to his mattress. It took Rohini ages to convince him to get a new one. However, when Angus was putting the new bed together he found himself getting reactive because he thought the new mattress was no better than a horse mat. Some harsh words were exchanged, but once the mattress had expanded, and Angus and Rohini had stabilized, Angus realized the ego is like a hoarder. It wants to hoard whatever feels familiar because it feels anxious about the unknown. Fortunately, understanding this makes it easier to ignore the ego's hoarding mentality and to have...

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Spiritual Activism

Are you curious about how you can become a Spiritual Activist? Then watch Del Adey-Jones's Insightful Conversations with Ami Chen Mills-Naim and Rohini Ross. The topic of conversation was Spiritual Activism. A subject Del has wanted to address for quite some time now, due to the increasingly tumultuous times we are facing here in the US.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to...

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Self-Judgment and Hot Button Topics

Hot button topics usually result in conflict when they are discussed. Anger is often used to deflect away from the subject. Finances used to be a hot button topic for us. Angus shares how his self-judgment and ensuing shame made it very difficult to discuss in a reasonable way. And Rohini would usually take Angus's anger personally. The antidote was for us to be vulnerable with each other and so we really understand each other's experiences. And when we weren't able to do that to see each other's psychological innocence, knowing we were each doing the best we could.   Angus &...

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Emotional Intimacy

The ability to experience emotional intimacy in a relationship is a reflection of one's capacity to be open one's own emotional experience. Angus points out that often when we are seeking greater emotional intimacy with someone else it is a misguided attempt to fill the painful void of feeling separate from one's spiritual nature. Relationships are not designed to fill that void and they suffer when unrealistic expectations are placed on them to do so.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them...

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Avoiding Resentment

Resentment nearly destroyed our marriage. Lessons learned are to have the willingness and courage to maintain open and honest communication and to not make assumptions about where that communication will take you. In your vulnerability, you open up to the power of your impersonal nature so your wisdom can guide you beyond the fears of the intellect. This is the realm of possibility and hopefulness. Learning, growth, and change are always possible.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate...

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Love is Your Compass

Love is Your Compass   Let your personal self soften so it gives way to the impersonal. Let the tears flow, but don’t let them go unseen. Let yourself receive the love that you yearn for. Ask for it. Claim it. Reveal your neediness and deep yearning for love. It is primal. Eschew the seeking of security in the known, in favor of the risk of annihilation in the unknown. What gets lost is not needed. What is left is true. Truth can only be felt when the hard exoskeleton of misunderstanding melts into the oneness of all things. This is what you long for. It is also what you fight against. The time for wrestling for...

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Saying Yes For An Easy Life

Angus used to take what looked like the easy route by saying yes to Rohini in order to avoid a potential emotional reaction on her part, but it usually still ended in grief and suffering down the road because he wouldn't follow through and Rohini would feel disappointed and dismayed by his disregard for keeping agreements. Have a deeper connection with their wellbeing coming from within helped them both.   When Angus became more connected with his inner wellbeing, he was less concerned about Rohini's emotional reactions, and with Rohini being more connected with her wellbeing she was less emotionally reactive. She...

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