The Random Nature of Our Emotional Experience

This Vlog was going to be an inspiring message about how it is possible to stay neutral and philosophical even in the face of challenges, but then Angus had a bit of a wobbler when the dog started wandering around and the more relevant point became how random it is what thoughts we get stirred up by and which ones we don’t. We sailed through some pretty big challenges, for the most part unruffled, but the dog knocking over the light and looking like he was going to eat the orchid got under Angus’ skin.   This just points to how random...

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Hands Free Parenting

I'm on my way back home from the Pransky Professional training. Grateful not to be snowed in at Seatac, and even though I have a sore throat and a headache I am feeling lighter and freer as I leave. My heart feels wide open.   I love the impact of listening to people share their personal experience of truth as a way of pointing to the Truth that is universal and can't be named. Even though the impersonal and personal can never meet, pointing to the singular in this way has a feeling that goes along with it. It is not conceptual...

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Did I Choose the Wrong Partner?

This question comes up frequently when we work with couples who are struggling in their relationship and is a question we have both asked ourselves in the past. We really thought that we might have irreconcilable differences.   What we didn’t know is that we were seeing each other through the lens of our low moods. Our discontent was a reflection of our thoughts, not each other or our relationship. We were experiencing our own consciousness and not the other person.   Now if it starts to look like life would be better if I wasn’t married to Angus, I know I’m buying into...

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An Affair and Extramarital Attractions

Angus was not too pleased about me airing our dirty laundry in my blog this week. An affair and extramarital attractions are definitely a tricky topic. But I wanted to share what I have learned in case it helps others. My feelings and resulting behaviors were symptoms of my internal distress and not our relationship. At the time, it genuinely looked to me like Angus was the source of my suffering and so it made sense for me to think I would be happier with someone else. I didn't realize I was looking for the solution where it could never be found....

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My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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Angus’ Fiery Moments

Angus was doing a good job of keeping his cool and not jumping onboard the train of his low mood thinking. That was until he got played by his teenage daughter and criticized by me. Then everything went south, but only for about 5 minutes. And then you get to hear his firework story. I still don't know who he had to speak to that day. But the good news is we are both on the learning curve on not taking our thinking too seriously, and when we do, our bounce back is getting so much quicker. It is amazing...

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Angus is Losing His Marbles but Feeling More Peaceful

Angus' absent-mindedness takes a new form. Luckily I see the funny side, and we are both grateful for the greater level of peace we are experiencing in our relationship. This is not the result of us working on our relationship. It is simply the by-product of us seeing how we can let go and let life live us.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They...

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Inner Peace and Relationships

I am doing an interview for an upcoming online series with Kim Root, The Art of a Peaceful Mind: How to Find Peace, Inner Strength and Confidently Tap Into Your Intuition. I am speaking to peace of mind in relationships. As I was thinking about the interview, it struck me how ironic it is that the people we are closest to and who we love the most are usually the people with whom we can be the most reactive and have the least peace of mind.   I am pretty even keel most of the time. I am laid back, polite, and...

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Rule Breaker and Rule Follower

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in with Angus and me regarding our safety and for offering your support while we were evacuated. We are very grateful for your love and kindness. We are safe and have not been impacted by the fire other than the evacuation. Many others, however, have not been as fortunate. If you would like to offer support here are some charities to choose from:   Wildfire Relief Fund   Disaster Relief Fund   Caring Choices   California Fire Foundation   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love...

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Invisible State of Mind

It amazes me that my state of mind can be invisible to me. What I mean by that is that in my perception I think I am okay and in my right mind, but actually, I am destabilized. It is obvious to me when I am feeling extremes of upset, but what I share about in the Vlog is more subtle. Now I know when Angus says I am being stern, critical or on my high horse, he is probably right. He is picking up on my feeling state.   Normally I think he is the crazy one and just out of...

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