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I Can Be A Bitch by Julieanne Chazotte

This week's guest blog post is written by my apprentice Julieanne Chazotte. I love how Julie embraces her humanness and finds freedom in letting go of self-judgments. Her invitation is for us all to see that our human foibles cannot and do not mean anything about us. And in the letting go of pressure on ourselves to be better, the resulting internal freedom naturally allows us to show up in more loving and compassionate ways.   Over the past few weeks my husband, Dror, and I have been going through an IVF process. This is a costly intervention with a lot of...

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Beyond the Psychology of Relationships

Please watch beyond Angus's moan about the cleanse we are doing. For the record, I did not force him to participate. I feel great and am doing the same thing! There are separate realities for you!   Anyway, this Vlog is to clarify that Angus and I are not sharing about how to improve your relationship by managing your thinking or by changing your state of mind. Our intention is to point to the fullness of who you are that includes both the form of your psychology and the formless essence of your spiritual nature.   It is through looking in the direction of...

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What is Behind Frustration and Impatience?

Frustration and impatience -- they come up all the time in both personal and professional relationships.   I experience both. I do my best not to express them, but I often do, in spite of my attempts not to. Sometimes I am just not able to restrain myself, and sometimes I think I am filtering myself but really I am kidding myself –– like a child who hides her head under a blanket and thinks she cannot be seen. I think I am keeping my feelings under wraps, but it is quite obvious to the person on the receiving end how I am...

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Bouncing Back From The Bad Mother Blues

Parenting can be an extremely humbling experience. And there is nothing like having your profession thrown in your face by your daughter when you are not showing up as an ideal mother. I had one such experience last week.   What I am grateful for is having the perspective to see how different my daughter looks when I go from one mood to another so I don’t take my bad mother blues too seriously. Previously, I would have been so ensconced on a self-help path to fix my errant ways that I would have missed the opportunity to rebuild the bridge between...

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Angus’s Insight About Free Will

Angus has gone through another door of perception. He shares how his experience of seeing free will as a product of the conceptual mind has given him a feeling of greater inner freedom. Rather than seeing himself as separate from God/Mind/Consciousness, recognizing that free will is part of the illusion of thought, allowed him to experience more of the oneness. This is not only freeing for him, but it also helps him to have more compassion for me when I get caught up in my conceptual mind. Now, he is more likely to see my psychological innocence when this happens.   It...

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Look First In The Direction of the True Self — It Transformed My Marriage!

As the early bird price for The Soul-Centered Series is drawing to a close, I am immersed in conversations with people enrolling in the 7-month program. I feel so grateful to connect with people from all over the world and talk about an understanding that has transformed my life and the lives of so many people I work with and know personally.   What I am particularly grateful for is the impact of this understanding on my experience of relationships, and especially my relationship with my husband Angus. I see now how I used to focus on trying to fix things out...

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Reactivity In Relationships Is Normal And Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

Reactivity is normal in relationships. It is a healthy part of the learning curve of being together and navigating separate realities. So often couples come to us with shame about the emotional reactivity in their relationship. Angus and I want to eradicate the shame and normalize that it is okay that upset occurs. It is okay to be learning and growing. None of us have it all figured out.   When we are up against our growing edge, we are stepping beyond our comfort zone and into the unknown. It is there that we can see something fresh and new. We can’t...

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The Misunderstanding Behind Codependence

There is a significant emphasis in current relationship advice given to embracing autonomy and individuality in relationships in order to have a healthy, sustaining relationship. Interdependence is good and codependence is bad. This makes sense in theory, but having no elements of codependence in a relationship is very unlikely and sets up a focus of seeing codependency as a problem to be fixed rather than the innocent by-product of a misunderstanding.   There is no point in spending time fixing by-products. It is tireless and never-ending work. However, as soon as a misunderstanding is clarified, the by-product of the misunderstanding is immediately and...

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Navigating Your Partner’s Low Mood Gracefully

It is easy to take your partner's low mood and reactivity personally. It can look like, if they were happier, you would be happier. And it can seem kind to try and help them by offering solutions or trying to talk them out of their low mood.   Angus and I have been there and done that. We even still try to do it sometimes. But what we wake up to sooner now is that when we are doing that we have forgotten that our wellbeing and peace of mind comes from within.   Any time it looks like you would feel better if...

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Reflection List For Singles Who Want To Be In A Relationship

Here is a reflection list to help you see how willing you are and what your availability is to partnership. It is not a formula. These are simply questions to reflect on and see what occurs to you about your openness to both dating and partnership.   Are you hopeful about being in a relationship?   Many people I speak to that want to be in a relationship are not hopeful about it. They feel discouraged. They are jaded. They say they want partnership, but they have given up hope. They feel like somehow it is just not in the cards for them.   However, if...

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