fbpx

Do You Try To Be A Bomb Disposal Expert With Your Partner’s Upset?

Angus used to feel like he was trying to defuse a bomb with oven mitts on when I was upset. He didn't realize that his job was not to fix my problems. He thought he couldn't be happy if I wasn't happy. And the more he tried to make me happy the more upset I became. Now Angus and I both know that happiness comes from within. He realizes that no matter how emotional I get, I will eventually stabilize. And I have learned to not trust my low mood thinking. I am skeptical of it so I don't get...

Read More

The Ordinariness of Happiness and Peace of Mind!

Wishing you a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year filled with love! May you remember that you are enough exactly as you are and that peace and contentment are your true nature. They are your birthright. There is nothing extra you need to do to experience the essence of who you are. Knowing what direction to look in and letting go, relaxing, allowing and being open is all it takes. You can’t work at it.   I’m looking forward to the upcoming New Year Fresh Start Workshop that Barb Patterson and I are co-facilitating this weekend in Santa Monica! We have a...

Read More

My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

Read More

Invisible State of Mind

It amazes me that my state of mind can be invisible to me. What I mean by that is that in my perception I think I am okay and in my right mind, but actually, I am destabilized. It is obvious to me when I am feeling extremes of upset, but what I share about in the Vlog is more subtle. Now I know when Angus says I am being stern, critical or on my high horse, he is probably right. He is picking up on my feeling state.   Normally I think he is the crazy one and just out of...

Read More

Peace of Mind and Happiness are the Key to Greater Performance

I was having a conversation with my husband Angus about the idea of creating things outside of ourselves by focusing on them and thinking about them positively. For me, this seems like such a lot of effort and feels like it is looking in the wrong direction from where well-being actually resides. Rather than using my mental energy to focus on creating something outside of myself, I would rather wake up to my true nature and the experience of peace, well-being, joy, and love that is who I am more fully independent of what I have in my life or how...

Read More

The Counter-Intuitive Approach to Less Emotional Suffering

I used to think that less suffering would come from managing my thinking so I could create a nicer experience for myself. I believed that if I could avoid negative thoughts then I wouldn't have negative emotions. I did not realize how much work this would be, nor did I see how the pressure of constantly trying to control my thoughts would create more suffering rather than less.   I discovered the easier way to live in a nicer feeling more of the time was paradoxical. Instead of me trying to create a good feeling, what I noticed is that if I...

Read More

Have Fun Being Unapologetically YOU!

Angus didn’t realize he had taken someone’s negative feedback about our Vlog personally until it came time to do it. What I really appreciate about the pre-recording experience was watching Angus go from reactive and caught up in his thinking one moment to seeing his mind shift and getting perspective in another. It is amazing how quickly our minds change, and it is so powerful to see how we all have that same capacity to drop into peace and clarity at any moment.   I can relate to Angus getting caught up in insecure thinking. It happens to me too. It is...

Read More

Who Knew? Letting Yourself Be Human Brings Out the Best in You!

Seeing stress as not being attached to the outside world has completely changed my relationship with it. When I thought my experience of stress was caused by things outside of me, I accepted it. I took it for granted and assumed that I would need things to change on the outside before I could feel better on the inside. When it looks this way, life is hard. Sometimes things aren’t going to change on the outside. Some things are permanent, like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, not being able to have a biological child.   There...

Read More

There Is Relief From Insecurity Simply From Understanding How the Mind Works

I was recently given feedback in a Mastermind group that I am part of that for someone with so much insecure thinking I sure get a lot done. I don’t know if you ever feel this way, but I feel at times like I am different than other people. I think I am more screwed up, that I am less than, that there is something wrong with me. This definitely happens less than it used to, but it still happens. What is different now is that I am much better than I used to be at ignoring these thoughts and...

Read More

Angus’ Active Imagination

Angus believes he has lost a box from Amazon. He creates a narrative around that and lives in this reality until a week later when the missing box is delivered. This goes to show how powerful thought is. We don’t live in an objective reality that we perceive. We live in a subjective reality that we create. This may sound esoteric, but it is actually very practical especially for relationships. When you know that your reality is not “the” reality it opens the mind to understand other people’s way of seeing the world that can be quite different from our...

Read More