Marriage | Rohini Ross - Part 7

Angus’s Insight About Free Will

Angus has gone through another door of perception. He shares how his experience of seeing free will as a product of the conceptual mind has given him a feeling of greater inner freedom. Rather than seeing himself as separate from God/Mind/Consciousness, recognizing that free will is part of the illusion of thought, allowed him to experience more of the oneness. This is not only freeing for him, but it also helps him to have more compassion for me when I get caught up in my conceptual mind. Now, he is more likely to see my psychological innocence when this happens.   It...

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Reactivity In Relationships Is Normal And Nothing To Be Ashamed Of

Reactivity is normal in relationships. It is a healthy part of the learning curve of being together and navigating separate realities. So often couples come to us with shame about the emotional reactivity in their relationship. Angus and I want to eradicate the shame and normalize that it is okay that upset occurs. It is okay to be learning and growing. None of us have it all figured out.   When we are up against our growing edge, we are stepping beyond our comfort zone and into the unknown. It is there that we can see something fresh and new. We can’t...

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Navigating Your Partner’s Low Mood Gracefully

It is easy to take your partner's low mood and reactivity personally. It can look like, if they were happier, you would be happier. And it can seem kind to try and help them by offering solutions or trying to talk them out of their low mood.   Angus and I have been there and done that. We even still try to do it sometimes. But what we wake up to sooner now is that when we are doing that we have forgotten that our wellbeing and peace of mind comes from within.   Any time it looks like you would feel better if...

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Handling Conflict in Relationships

If you have conflict in your relationship, don't despair. It is possible to be on a learning curve so that conflict is reduced and when it does occur, it doesn't last as long. Conflict doesn't mean anything about you or your relationship.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders". They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by opening them up to their innate vitality and resilience. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives...

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Understanding How The Mind Works, Inner Freedom, and Loving Relationships

Understanding How The Mind Works, Inner Freedom, and Loving Relationships -- what do they all have in common?   Last week’s blog focused on getting comfortable with the ups and downs of the human experience and how that benefits relationships. I scheduled my blog in my newsletter to send on Monday morning, and for the second time, in a not very long period of time, my website went down on a Monday so none of the links in my newsletter worked. This came after a very challenging Father’s Day with one daughter saying she does not feel supported by Angus and me,...

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Being Okay With Your Feelings is the Best Thing You Can Do For Your Relationship

Being okay with your feelings is the best thing you can do for your relationship and all areas of your life.   But how do you do that?   It seems like we innocently live out our beliefs no matter how faulty they might be, and we are at the effect of them emotionally.   How do you get more freedom?   I spent many years of my life searching for that answer first in yoga and meditation practices then in various psychotherapies. I would diligently practice various techniques to try to have less emotional suffering and to experience more inner peace. But it was such hard work....

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How Are You In Yourself? Relationship Quality is a Reflection of Wellbeing

Heading back home today after a wonderful time in England. What stood out for me this trip is the ease with which Angus and I got along. The typical challenges of jet lag, nerves before speaking, driving on the other side of the road, navigating from A to B, getting to the airport on time, and other daily challenges didn’t result in conflict or bickering. This was not because we were trying harder to get along, working on our relationship, or have achieved superhuman status.   It really is the by-product of each of us being connected with our wellbeing independent...

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Angus’ Disco Dance & Rewilding Your Relationship

Angus was disappointed because he didn't have time to share his rewilding metaphor regarding rewilding relationships in the breakout session that we did at the 3PUK conference so he shares it here. Most importantly we want you to see for yourselves that you don't need to put any energy into managing or taming yourself or anyone else. It doesn't evoke the feeling of love in a relationship, and there is no need to because there is an infinite intelligence beyond our intellect that is unfolding perfectly. We can simply allow that to express and enjoy the results of the deeper...

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One Solution To Sexual Boredom In Long-Term Relationships

According to researchers, women have a much harder time than men maintaining their sex-drive in long-term monogamous relationships. Women seemingly suffer more than men from habituation to a stimulus, meaning they are more easily bored than men with having sex with the same person over and over again. Two German longitudinal studies show that female desire drops dramatically over 90 months, while men’s holds relatively steady. However, women who didn’t live with their partners did not experience the same drop.   Sex with familiarity is apparently harder for women than men. Although Freud did document the Madonna-Whore complex where men struggle to...

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Angus Wants A Gray Hall Pass

What have I got myself into? Now Angus is going to be googling gray hall passes! All I wanted to say is that sexual boredom is not going to be solved by looking for more external stimulus. That is a never-ending quest. The sustainable solution is understanding that boredom, including sexual boredom, is a state of mind. Boredom reflects how sped up the individual's mind is rather than being caused by being in a long-term relationship. I know for myself there was a period of time where it got harder for me to drop out of my busy thinking before...

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