Marriage | Rohini Ross - Part 10

The “D” Word

The "D" word is something that Angus and I used to consider frequently. I didn't even know it was on his mind as much as mine until this Vlog. I was just more vocal about it. Now, however, it isn't even a consideration for either of us.   The big game changer for us was seeing that a low mood is an indicator to not take our thinking seriously. We would only ever end up coming to the conclusion that divorce was the answer when we were in a low mood state. We have both learned not to think about what looks...

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Parenting Madness

Angus and I are learning a lot about not adding noise to the teenage brain, and we are calling ourselves forward to be the adults and take responsibility for our emotional experience. There is no better way to learn this than to see that even teenagers are not responsible for how we feel. We can only ever feel our thinking in the moment. No one and no thing is responsible for that. And even when we know this, we do forget, and there are times when we fail miserably to not be reactive.   Angus had one of these experiences on Monday...

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Goodwill is the Fertile Soil that Allows Relationships to Thrive

I had some of my reflections after watching the live-stream of the Pransky and Associates Working with Couples Training this weekend. The importance of goodwill in a relationship stood out to me as essential. It is as vital the richness of soil is for plants to grow in. If goodwill is low, it is impossible for a relationship to thrive, and goodwill is not about loving your partner in an abstract sense. It is authentic day-to-day warmth, appreciation, kindness and genuinely liking your partner. It is practical and felt.   If goodwill is low in a relationship, it is likely the result of...

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The Soul-Centered Series Webinar with George Pransky

Here is the recording of George Pransky's interview.   George has a wonderful ability to point to the depth and profundity of the understanding shared by Sydney Banks as well as the simplicity of it. I love how straightforward George is in how he shares what he sees and how he works with others. He points to the far-reaching impact that results from understanding there is an intelligence behind life that is us and is the source of our innate mental health and wellbeing.   Rohini Ross is the founder and presenter of The Soul-Centered Series: Psychology, Spirituality and the Teachings of Sydney Banks...

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Sun Lounger Insights

Angus has finally convinced me to take a lie on the beach vacation. I used to think this would be a complete waste of time. I was a bit of a snob about taking that kind of vacation, but now I see the benefit of really letting my mind and body relax.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working with couples and helping them reduce conflict and discord so they can experience more love and harmony in their relationships. They co-facilitate individualized three-day couples intensives that...

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Navigating a Big Transition with More Ease

There is a big transition afoot in our household with our eldest daughter leaving for college and emotions are running higher than normal. What Angus​ and I love about the understanding of the Principles is that it lets us be with our humanness and our frailties in a gentler and more compassionate way, both for ourselves and for each other. And we did look up the dog in Peter Pan. Her name was Nana. She was a Newfoundland. The Abyssinian Mountain dog that Angus referred to is a mythical creature of his imagination.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work...

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Shouting is Moaning on Steroids

Shouting is the new moaning and another great example of how we each live in our separate realities. In Angus' world, he was not shouting. In my world, he was shouting at me. Fortunately, I had perspective and didn’t take it personally this time, but I do have a preference not to be shouted at. Angus was able to hear this and recognize it is possible to not yell at the messenger. His other lesson was to be realistic about the outcome of giving his credit card to a teenager doing dorm room shopping. And Niko makes a guest appearance to remind...

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Time to Get Off My Soapbox!

Sometimes Angus feels compelled to have a moan, and sometimes I'm not able to be a good listener when he does. Rather than holding a loving space and saying "There, there, darling.", I get concerned and try to school him. This usually doesn't go well. So Angus decides it would be good for him to have a virtual assistant he can moan to, but he gets himself into hot water when he uses a term I take exception to.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working...

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Angus Doesn’t Have to Conquer Fear to Experience More Peace of Mind

Angus has a fear of heights, but what he has noticed is that the initial fear isn’t so bad as long as he doesn’t add-on additional anxious thoughts to his experience. We use this Vlog to test out his hypothesis by walking over the Deception Pass bridge. Angus has the initial lizard brain activation of anxiety, but he is able to ignore the extraneous thoughts that are calling for his attention and doesn’t get stuck on the bridge unable to move. Hopefully, this vlog will help all of us to see where we can ignore our thinking when it is...

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Sometimes Shame Gets the Better of Us

Angus shares how he feels he did a bad job with public speaking. I point out that it is impossible for him to know how he did when he is experiencing so much self-judgment. It is easy to be hard on ourselves when we are gripped by our thoughts of shame and feeling the effect of them. Going over what happened does not help. It breathes more life into the critical thoughts and results in more intense feelings of shame and less perspective. The best way we have found to navigate shame is to recognize when what we are thinking...

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