Love | Rohini Ross - Part 2

Is Remembering Mortality Helpful in Relationships?

In a recent Rewilders' Community webinar, we were asked to speak on death. We had a poignant conversation with many sharing their experiences related to death, grief, near-death experiences, and the lessons learned. It made me think of the Latin phrase Memento Mori, which means to "remember that you must die." This phrase is not meant to be depressing but intended to illuminate and inspire one to live life fully in this moment. Memento Mori might seem like a depressing theme to use as inspiration for a relationship post, but I find it refreshing and practical.   Recently when Angus and I returned...

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Code Red in Relationships

Empathy is being able to understand what someone else is feeling or being able to see a situation from another person's point of view. The capacity to have empathy for another is essential for the success of intimate relationships. This is an obvious statement, but it is easier said than done.   When moods drop, and mental and emotional bandwidths shrink, empathy is hard to come by.   Humans tend to make assumptions and not realize they are doing so. We live in separate realities created through the filter of our thought systems and don't realize how far apart the way we see things...

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Navigating Irreconcilable Differences. Why Bother Trying?

Angus and I have been hearing from people who are implementing the guidance we share in our Rewilding Love podcast and experiencing shifts in their relationships. One of the reviews said the approach is working like magic. We have also heard how the issues we discuss such as trying to change your partner or navigating anger feel like we are speaking directly to the listener. This shows how universal relationship challenges are. But one of the pieces of feedback that stood out to me was about how dire the relationship in the podcast sounds. And the question was, "Wouldn’t it...

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Ten Relationship Basics

I’ve written about how I used to be super-sensitive in my relationship with Angus and how that created a negative downward spiral between us, with each of us adding more negativity to our communication with each other and slashing the feeling of goodwill between us in the process. . I would blame him for how I felt. I thought if only he were kinder and less irritable then I would be happier. I would voice my criticism. He would take my criticism personally and become less kind and more irritable in the process. . We managed to create a negative amount of goodwill in...

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Love is Your Compass

Love is Your Compass   Let your personal self soften so it gives way to the impersonal. Let the tears flow, but don’t let them go unseen. Let yourself receive the love that you yearn for. Ask for it. Claim it. Reveal your neediness and deep yearning for love. It is primal. Eschew the seeking of security in the known, in favor of the risk of annihilation in the unknown. What gets lost is not needed. What is left is true. Truth can only be felt when the hard exoskeleton of misunderstanding melts into the oneness of all things. This is what you long for. It is also what you fight against. The time for wrestling for...

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Rewilding Your Relationship: Love is Your Natural State

If you missed the first two parts of this series you can read them by clicking here: Rewilding Your Relationship Even if You Feel, Discouraged, Disheartened or Desperate Part 1 Make Room For Humanness Part 2   Part 3 Love is Your Natural State   We tend to be attracted to people who will push our buttons. It feels like the innate intelligence behind life knows exactly who we need to be with in order to help us wake up in consciousness. Often at the beginning of a romantic relationship, there is a period of time when all we see is the good in our partner....

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Rewilding Your Relationship: Make Room for Humanness

To read Part 1 click here.   Part 2   Make Room for Humanness   No one is perfect. We all have our frailties. A rewilded relationship has room for the whole person. It does not require efforts to tame ourselves or our partner. We have become a self-help addicted society constantly focusing on self-improvement thinking that will get us to the holy grail of happiness. But focusing on trying to improve what is not working and what isn’t good enough has us miss the beauty and goodness of what is present.    As with part 1, start with yourself here too.   Can you see that any efforts...

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Rewilding Your Relationship — Even if You are Feeling Discouraged, Disheartened, or Desperate

Part 1   Start with yourself!   Angus and I work with many couples who are in committed relationships that have lost their spark. It is often described as living like roommates or having a business relationship. Sometimes these couples have very little conflict in their relationship, but they feel like they are coexisting. Other times there is high conflict at times that leads to polarization and periods of distance. Believe it or not, conflict is an attempt to connect and experience intimacy. These couples actually feel more hope than the couples that no longer have conflict in their relationship. They are still willing...

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Untamed: A Podcast About Relationships

Enjoy a sneak preview of our upcoming podcast where Angus and I spend an entire season sharing our journey guiding an anonymous, real couple toward their true natures so they can decide what to do regarding their marriage that is on the brink of divorce.   Angus & Rohini Ross are "the Rewilders." They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples...

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Angry Behavior is an Attempt to Get Back to Love

One of the biggest challenges for relationships is angry behavior. Most of the focus on how to solve this problem is to reduce reactivity. This is a worthy goal but offers no solutions for when reactivity happens. This often leaves people judging themselves when they are reactive and missing that it is a misguided attempt to get back to love.   I had a recent blow out with my daughter where I behaved badly and sad hurtful things. We revisited the situation recently, and I acknowledged I was out of line. I was struck by how magnanimous she was. She said we...

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