Celebrating Martin Luther King Jr. and Remembering the Dream!

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.   Today is Martin Luther King Jr. day in the United States. It is a holiday that commemorates Dr. King's life and work. He led a movement for racial justice and equality and embraced nonviolent action as a powerful revolutionary force for social change. He employed Gandhi's philosophy of nonviolence as the means to confront racist laws and discrimination in America. His work made a significant contribution to President Lyndon Johnson signing into law the historic Civil Rights...

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An Affair and Extramarital Attractions

Angus was not too pleased about me airing our dirty laundry in my blog this week. An affair and extramarital attractions are definitely a tricky topic. But I wanted to share what I have learned in case it helps others. My feelings and resulting behaviors were symptoms of my internal distress and not our relationship. At the time, it genuinely looked to me like Angus was the source of my suffering and so it made sense for me to think I would be happier with someone else. I didn't realize I was looking for the solution where it could never be found....

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My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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Inner Peace and Relationships

I am doing an interview for an upcoming online series with Kim Root, The Art of a Peaceful Mind: How to Find Peace, Inner Strength and Confidently Tap Into Your Intuition. I am speaking to peace of mind in relationships. As I was thinking about the interview, it struck me how ironic it is that the people we are closest to and who we love the most are usually the people with whom we can be the most reactive and have the least peace of mind.   I am pretty even keel most of the time. I am laid back, polite, and...

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Rule Breaker and Rule Follower

Thank you to everyone who has reached out to check in with Angus and me regarding our safety and for offering your support while we were evacuated. We are very grateful for your love and kindness. We are safe and have not been impacted by the fire other than the evacuation. Many others, however, have not been as fortunate. If you would like to offer support here are some charities to choose from:   Wildfire Relief Fund   Disaster Relief Fund   Caring Choices   California Fire Foundation   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love...

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Invisible State of Mind

It amazes me that my state of mind can be invisible to me. What I mean by that is that in my perception I think I am okay and in my right mind, but actually, I am destabilized. It is obvious to me when I am feeling extremes of upset, but what I share about in the Vlog is more subtle. Now I know when Angus says I am being stern, critical or on my high horse, he is probably right. He is picking up on my feeling state.   Normally I think he is the crazy one and just out of...

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The “D” Word

The "D" word is something that Angus and I used to consider frequently. I didn't even know it was on his mind as much as mine until this Vlog. I was just more vocal about it. Now, however, it isn't even a consideration for either of us.   The big game changer for us was seeing that a low mood is an indicator to not take our thinking seriously. We would only ever end up coming to the conclusion that divorce was the answer when we were in a low mood state. We have both learned not to think about what looks...

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Shouting is Moaning on Steroids

Shouting is the new moaning and another great example of how we each live in our separate realities. In Angus' world, he was not shouting. In my world, he was shouting at me. Fortunately, I had perspective and didn’t take it personally this time, but I do have a preference not to be shouted at. Angus was able to hear this and recognize it is possible to not yell at the messenger. His other lesson was to be realistic about the outcome of giving his credit card to a teenager doing dorm room shopping. And Niko makes a guest appearance to remind...

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Time to Get Off My Soapbox!

Sometimes Angus feels compelled to have a moan, and sometimes I'm not able to be a good listener when he does. Rather than holding a loving space and saying "There, there, darling.", I get concerned and try to school him. This usually doesn't go well. So Angus decides it would be good for him to have a virtual assistant he can moan to, but he gets himself into hot water when he uses a term I take exception to.   Rohini and Angus are both coaches. They work with individuals, leaders, and organizations to increase performance and success. They also love working...

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Low Moods No Longer Bring My Life to a Halt

I don’t know what I have been searching for on the internet lately, but now my Facebook ads are about pee proof underwear and vaginal dryness solutions. I remember reading in a book about big data how parents found out their teenage daughter was pregnant because their Target flyers started showing baby items. It is not a big step from menopause to mortality, and this has been underlined by the death of a college friend after a brave fight against cancer.   Moments of recognition about the finite quality of life can be sobering. It has caused me to reflect on my...

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