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Freedom From Being A Slave to External Validation

My car lease expired at the end of last month so I went into the dealership after a good friend found me an amazing deal. Everything was completed ahead of time. I just needed to do the swap. Or so I thought. I forgot about the time in the finance office. When I was reminded of this, I walked into the finance office braced and ready for the reams of papers to sign. I sat down in the black vinyl chair ready for the task.   Then I was taken aback. Rather than a get down to business start. I was greeted...

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When Stress Goes Up, Relationships Go Down — The Solution Is More Simple Than You Think

Gallup recently released their latest annual update on the world’s emotional state and it shows that Americans' Stress, Worry, and Anger Intensified in 2018. Highlights from the survey indicate that Americans are among the most stressed in the world. Nearly half of Americans are worried a lot, one in five are angry a lot, and younger Americans between the ages of 15 and 49 are among the most stressed, worried and angry.   When people feel stressed one of the main areas that is impacted in their life is their intimate relationships. So many clients come to me puzzled that they act...

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Insightful Conversation with Del Adey-Jones

Click here for the recording of my interview with Del where I share how the understanding of the Principles dramatically improved the quality of my marriage and how my husband Angus and I now work together helping other couples deepen their love.   Rohini Ross is passionate about helping people wake up to their full potential. She is a transformative coach, leadership consultant, a regular blogger for Thrive Global, and author of the short-read Marriage (The Soul-Centered Series Book 1) available on Amazon. You can get her free ebook Relationships here. Rohini currently has an international coaching and consulting practice based in Los Angeles helping individuals, couples, and...

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Feeling the Low Mood Blues

I used to think the understanding of the Principles was supposed to stop me from being in a low mood. I thought that if I could just get enough understanding low moods would never strike again. And when I experienced a low mood, I thought this meant I didn’t know enough, and I felt pressure to see more so that I could end my suffering.   It didn’t occur to me that wanting to see more actually causes suffering.   Now I am feeling low. Life feels hard. My usual zest is not there. There isn’t anything difficult going on. There is no...

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Trying To Be Special

I have a thing about feeling important.   I like to feel special. I like to be the favorite.   I don’t like being on the outside. I don’t like feeling less than. I don’t like feeling insignificant.   I want to be in the in-crowd. I want to finish first. I like coming out on top.   Trying to be all of this is really hard work and never satisfying because there is no such thing as arriving. There is never enough praise, validation, acknowledgment, adulation or success to take away feelings of unworthiness.   Even though I know better, at times, I still drop into feelings of self-doubt and insecurity....

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You Don’t Have To Be Afraid of Your Negative Thinking

There is a well known Henry Ford quote, “Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.” This statement tends to lead people in the direction of positive thinking and create superstition about negative thoughts. I speak with people who work very hard at trying to maintain their positive thinking. It can take a lot of time and effort. I used to be one of those people. I spent lots of time trying to manage and fix my thinking and it never ultimately worked. I was never able to banish my negative thought. This led me to feel...

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My Most Shameful Experience Pointed Me Toward Freedom

As preparation for the Soul-Centered Series free webinar with Jack Pransky, I read his latest book Seduced by Consciousness. I really enjoyed the first book I read of his, Somebody Should Have Told Us and was not disappointed with this one. In the book, Jack shares his insights into relationships. And it reminded me of a very painful learning curve I experienced in my marriage.   In the early days of being married to Angus, I would occasionally find myself attracted to another man. It would never be intentional. It would just happen and then it would pass. I would get over...

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Peace of Mind and Happiness are the Key to Greater Performance

I was having a conversation with my husband Angus about the idea of creating things outside of ourselves by focusing on them and thinking about them positively. For me, this seems like such a lot of effort and feels like it is looking in the wrong direction from where well-being actually resides. Rather than using my mental energy to focus on creating something outside of myself, I would rather wake up to my true nature and the experience of peace, well-being, joy, and love that is who I am more fully independent of what I have in my life or how...

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The Counter-Intuitive Approach to Less Emotional Suffering

I used to think that less suffering would come from managing my thinking so I could create a nicer experience for myself. I believed that if I could avoid negative thoughts then I wouldn't have negative emotions. I did not realize how much work this would be, nor did I see how the pressure of constantly trying to control my thoughts would create more suffering rather than less.   I discovered the easier way to live in a nicer feeling more of the time was paradoxical. Instead of me trying to create a good feeling, what I noticed is that if I...

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Have Fun Being Unapologetically YOU!

Angus didn’t realize he had taken someone’s negative feedback about our Vlog personally until it came time to do it. What I really appreciate about the pre-recording experience was watching Angus go from reactive and caught up in his thinking one moment to seeing his mind shift and getting perspective in another. It is amazing how quickly our minds change, and it is so powerful to see how we all have that same capacity to drop into peace and clarity at any moment.   I can relate to Angus getting caught up in insecure thinking. It happens to me too. It is...

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