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Let’s Stop Working On Ourselves!

I have been noticing a theme with my clients across the board from the work I do with leaders, to teams, to individual clients. There is a focus on there being something wrong with them, and a pervasive idea that they would feel better and perform better once it is fixed. Their "it" could be insecurity, worry, lack of motivation, feelings of overwhelm -- fill in the blank. However, instead of diving into what they see as the problem, I help them recognize that whatever the experience is that they want to get rid of, it is not the problem. The problem...

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Avoid Activism Fatigue and Burnout in General

Recently in the Mastermind group I belong to, we were discussing the profound impact the understanding of the Three Principles has had on our lives. In the conversation, I became more aware of how clarifying the understanding is and how impactful the practical implications of it are. Particularly with respect to me being more content and navigating my life and my emotional experience with more grace and ease.   This understanding seems particularly important during this time of upset, consternation, and stress related to the current political climate in the U.S. and elsewhere in the world. I find the increase in activism,...

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What a Relief — You Are Perfect Exactly As You Are!

Have you ever seen a self-help book or personal growth seminar that isn't focused on changing you? Every piece of marketing material that comes my way is tantalizing me to improve myself. The lure of being a better me with better thinking, better feelings, better achievements, and a better consciousness used to be so compelling, but it was also damaging. It painfully reinforced my belief that I was broken, damaged, and not good enough exactly as I was.   There are very few teachers telling people they are perfect exactly as they are. Not enough reassuring us there is no need to change,...

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I Stand with the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe and Their Allies — Do You?

This post is a different style than my typical blogs. It has been described by an early, anonymous reader (who I happened to be married to) as boring and too factual. The criticism was there wasn't enough heart in it. I have made some edits based on the feedback, and, for me, my heart is behind the facts. I care deeply about the right to sovereignty of the Native Americans. I care deeply about the safety of the drinking water of the Missouri River, and I care deeply about the ravages of the fossil fuel industry on this planet. My heart...

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The Power of Just Being You

Enlightenment only becomes available when it has been accepted it cannot be achieved. -- Tony Parsons   I read a personal story at The Spark Off Rose last week. I was surprised by how comfortable I felt. I had never been that at ease in front of an audience before.Without my nerves, I was present in my body. I did not experience a buffer between myself and the people listening. I felt incredibly vulnerable and safe. In the past, I had always associated vulnerability with fear. This was different.   The gift I experienced from me just showing up as me was that this...

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Take Your Eyes Off The Scoreboard and Live Your Life!

I was at a training recently and basketball coach John Wooden, famous for winning ten NCAA National championships for UCLA in a 12-year period, was mentioned. The anecdote shared was that while coaching his team at half-time, a rookie player piped up and said, "We are x number of points up. We are doing okay!" John Wooden told him to forget about the scoreboard and focus on playing the game to the best of his abilities.   I recognized how pertinent this advice is for life. It is so easy to get caught up in measuring how we are doing and to...

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Taking the Plank Out of My Eye — Nothing Can Disturb My Peace Other than My Thinking

When I scrolled through my emails recently, I saw one from an established coach listed as personal. The email title was my name. When I open the email, it said, "Do you have space for a new coaching client, Rohini?" I have seen this email before. I remember it.   Six months ago, I was speaking with a new coach developing his practice. We were discussing how his business was going, and he was very excited that he had received a personal email from this coach asking him if he was interested in new coaching client. He assumed the email was specific...

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I do not want to love myself — I want to know myself as love.

Working as a therapist and a coach, clients often share with me an intention of feeling worthy and having good self-esteem. In the past, I might have supported them with identifying the misunderstandings in their consciousness responsible for their painful feelings of not being good enough. This certainly provides respite, and helps clients see their beliefs as false. It allows them to let them go of the limited thinking and experience a more accurate understanding of themselves. Working with the content of thought and clarifying it so a deeper realization can emerge is healing. However, there is another way to address...

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Losing my Mind and Waking Up to my Self

I thought I lost my mind one day this week. I started out the morning feeling very proud of myself because I was so organized. I had an earlier than usual client session, and my youngest daughter had just started school. We weren't quite in the swing of things yet. My husband was out of town, but everything was going swimmingly. My daughter was up on time, on track for getting to school, and I was ready to go.   There was construction happening outside of our home. We were notified to move our cars by 7 am. I was out of...

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