emotional intelligence | Rohini Ross - Part 4

There Is Relief From Insecurity Simply From Understanding How the Mind Works

I was recently given feedback in a Mastermind group that I am part of that for someone with so much insecure thinking I sure get a lot done. I don’t know if you ever feel this way, but I feel at times like I am different than other people. I think I am more screwed up, that I am less than, that there is something wrong with me. This definitely happens less than it used to, but it still happens. What is different now is that I am much better than I used to be at ignoring these thoughts and...

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We Box Ourselves in with Limiting Beliefs, and We Also Set Ourselves Free

I still get surprised by the invisible power of thought at times. Like the Henry Ford quote says: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.” I got it into my head that I can only write in the mornings. This morning I didn’t write. I got caught up in trying to unsuccessfully figure out a video editing software and spent most of the day ensconced in it.   When it came to this evening, I had some quiet time while Angus was picking up our youngest daughter from her job. I started to watch a video. Then I...

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The Game of Life — No One Gets Out Alive

I am married to an Englishman who loves football, or soccer as they call it in the US,  so I have been watching many of the World Cup soccer games and really enjoying them. I am actually surprised at how much fun I’ve been having. There have been a lot of nail-biter finishes being decided by penalty shootouts. I’ve found myself not wanting to look and being compelled to look at the same time. The pressure has felt intense and enjoyable even if the team I was rooting for didn’t make it.   What I noticed is that when I experience...

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Angus and the Illusion of Listening

Listening is something that is so natural and simple, yet many people, Angus and I included, don’t do it all the time. We think we are listening or we give the impression that we are listening, but we are not fully present. Our mind is elsewhere. When this happens we miss out on connection and intimacy with another, but ultimately what we miss is the connection with ourselves. We feel our personal thoughts more than the oneness of who we all are.   Angus and I are not sharing this as a technique. There is no technique for listening. You are either...

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Your Soul Sings the Song of Pleasure. Are You Ready to Dance?

I am doing an intensive with a client this weekend. The emerging theme is following the pleasure of the formless. It is hard to imagine that following pleasure is not normal, but  I understand this first hand. I used to automatically push myself. I wanted to compete. I thought being the best would prove my worth. Even when exposed to spiritual teachings I took the same approach. I was trying to get somewhere.   I would deprive myself of pleasure by forcing myself to get up at 4:30 am, taking cold showers, restricting my eating, pushing through the pain of sitting...

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Becoming Discouragement Proof and Appreciating The Unknown

A typical learning curve has a slow beginning followed by steep acceleration until it eventually evens out into a plateau. Here is an example of what one looks like: Today I am writing about the slow beginning stage. It is common when I work with clients for them to be hard on themselves and to become discouraged during this stage. I hear comments like: “I don’t know what I’m doing.” “I’m stuck.” “Nothing is happening!” “I’m doing it wrong.” There is a frequent misconception that more information is needed at this time to help figure out how to reach the acceleration...

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Don’t Be Afraid of Your Coping Mechanisms: They Are Your Best Wisdom in the Moment

I like the feeling of being on top of things. This is a comfortable place for my ego to hang out. I can get smug about this and feel very pleased with myself. Look at me! Look at how together I am! There are also times of growth that I really enjoy. When I am stepping into the unknown and don't have anything figured out. This experience is fun and exhilarating. I enjoy both the comfort of the known and the excitement of the unknown.   What I have more trouble enjoying and appreciating is the mess. I don't like feeling I am...

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Optimal Performance With or Without Confidence

I've been preparing for a corporate training next week and the theme they want to explore is confidence. There are two things that occur to me about confidence right now:   Confidence is our natural state. It doesn't matter if we feel confident or not.   Regarding confidence being our natural state, I used to think the exact opposite. I thought that confidence was something I was lacking, and I needed to find it, create it, and fix my issues so that I could experience it. This was a very painful way to view confidence. It reinforced my belief that I was...

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Why I’m Not Making Any New Year’s Resolutions

This is the time of year when resolutions abound! It is traditional to make a fresh start on the first of January and be open to new beginnings. Out with the old and in with the new! The New Year inspires people to take action on being the best version of themselves.   What is your vision for yourself this year?   Mine includes having a house with closets and a garage that would make Marie Kondo proud. Enjoying pretty hands, fitting in to my Giorgio Armani suit that I bought after having two kids, but somehow, even though I am only two...

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Perspective Clears the Mind and Opens the Heart

My husband, Angus, and I are on our way back from the Pransky and Associates Working With Couples Training. It was a wonderful experience. I have greater compassion for myself and a deeper trust in the kindness of the innate intelligence guiding me to make the best choices I can based on my understanding in the moment.   I am more clear that any chronic and persistent feelings of shame and guilt I experience are the result of distorted thoughts that get in the way of my ability to have an open mind. As George Pransky said, they are noise in the system, and...

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