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Living Life Full Out and Being All In in Relationships!

The Principles understanding applies to all areas of life just like gravity applies to all areas on earth, but the area that I experienced and continue to witness dramatic and inspiring results both for myself and others is in relationships. When I came across the understanding I thought Angus and I had a good marriage. We had, in the past, had very difficult times, but we were on more solid ground. But, when I got a deeper experience of my wellbeing and absolute okayness no matter what my emotional, mental, or physical experience, it had a profound impact on our relationship....

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Instant Pot Blow Up

Angus doesn’t like change. He wasn’t pleased when I replaced the pressure cooker he loves that has a coating on the bottom that is peeling off with a stainless steel Instant Pot. He kept the old pot, but conceded to use the new pot. We had a hangry blow up this week when the new pot seemed to be malfunctioning with a burn feature, and I went to get something else to eat. That was too much for Angus already out of his comfort zone using the new pot. I did not stay neutral and reacted to his anger, but...

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The Principles Don’t Solve Problems: They Make Them Disappear

Clients often come to me with a problem wanting to know how the Principles, uncovered by Sydney Banks, can help them to solve it. Some of the problems they want to fix are:   Feeling insecure Feeling stuck in their business Wanting more impact with clients Relationship challenges Parenting challenges Too much stress Leadership challenges Wanting to change a behavior etc...

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Feeling the Low Mood Blues

I used to think the understanding of the Principles was supposed to stop me from being in a low mood. I thought that if I could just get enough understanding low moods would never strike again. And when I experienced a low mood, I thought this meant I didn’t know enough, and I felt pressure to see more so that I could end my suffering.   It didn’t occur to me that wanting to see more actually causes suffering.   Now I am feeling low. Life feels hard. My usual zest is not there. There isn’t anything difficult going on. There is no...

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The Random Nature of Our Emotional Experience

This Vlog was going to be an inspiring message about how it is possible to stay neutral and philosophical even in the face of challenges, but then Angus had a bit of a wobbler when the dog started wandering around and the more relevant point became how random it is what thoughts we get stirred up by and which ones we don’t. We sailed through some pretty big challenges, for the most part unruffled, but the dog knocking over the light and looking like he was going to eat the orchid got under Angus’ skin.   This just points to how random...

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Angus’ Wail Song

I think we can all relate to getting irritated with our partner. Sometimes it just blows over. Other times it blows up. Angus shares his experience where he felt irritated toward me but then woke up to how he was thinking of all kinds of negative things about me. In seeing what he was doing, it then made sense to him to not keep going down that rabbit hole because he recognized he would just get more stirred up. By understanding that his disturbance was not caused by me, but was actually being created within himself, he saw not to...

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Bah Humbug Feelings Are Normal

It is starting to feel like the holiday season in my home. Our eldest daughter just got home from college. My husband Angus and our youngest daughter found and put up our Christmas tree. The laser lights are sparkling outside. Angus’ birthday is just around the corner. There is a festive air, but the holidays can be difficult for people too. There are often high expectations for joy and connection that don’t get met. I have talked to some people who say they feel lonelier this time of year and others who feel the loss of loved ones more poignantly.   Whatever...

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Freedom from Suffering

As soon as I feel the internal pressure to be special or better than, I know I am feeling the opposite -- not special, not good enough. Feelings of unworthiness can be so painful, and there are so many ways to try and escape these feelings. Trying to prove our worthiness by being better than. Numbing out from the pain by using coping mechanisms.   Psychology tells us the problem is an issue that needs to be resolved, but there is no gold to be mined there only an infinite amount of issues that will need fixing. Instead, less suffering is the...

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Who Knew? Letting Yourself Be Human Brings Out the Best in You!

Seeing stress as not being attached to the outside world has completely changed my relationship with it. When I thought my experience of stress was caused by things outside of me, I accepted it. I took it for granted and assumed that I would need things to change on the outside before I could feel better on the inside. When it looks this way, life is hard. Sometimes things aren’t going to change on the outside. Some things are permanent, like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, not being able to have a biological child.   There...

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There Is Relief From Insecurity Simply From Understanding How the Mind Works

I was recently given feedback in a Mastermind group that I am part of that for someone with so much insecure thinking I sure get a lot done. I don’t know if you ever feel this way, but I feel at times like I am different than other people. I think I am more screwed up, that I am less than, that there is something wrong with me. This definitely happens less than it used to, but it still happens. What is different now is that I am much better than I used to be at ignoring these thoughts and...

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